Day 1197 Singapore April 27, 2010 - 20.21 hrs

Nicole is feeling much better. The side effects have diminished. We went for a walk in the Botanical Garden and then went out for lunch. She had some appetite. In the afternoon, following a nap, we went by Dr Wong's office to get some medication against nausea. Nicole visited a woman who is at the Gleneagles Hospital. She is from India and the husband has just been transferred to Singapore, She underwent a third surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. This was her second surgery in 3 months. Dr Ngoi did the surgery. Dr Karmen Wong asked us to provide some support to this couple. The woman is so young - 36 years old. Please pray for them.

Nicole is so nice, willing to provide support, given her conditions. We thank God for all the blessings today. We are so lucky to have so much support from all of you, relatives and friends. Nicole received many encouraging emails today and I received supportive emails from friends also. Thank you for your kind love and the love of God that you give us through you. Another day ends peacefully.

Day 1196 Singapore april 26, 2010 - 22.00 hrs

Nicole is finding chemo more difficult to bear this time. She is feeling weak, finds food tasteless, has nausea and feels depressed at times. All these are the side effects.

We went to mass this morning as we keep our faith in God during this difficult time. Prayers do help. Phone calls and emails from her sisters are also helping Nicole.

Fortunately we have Greg with us who has been of a great help.

Day 1194 Singapore April 24, 2010 - 5.58 hrs

Nicole had chemo on Thursday April 22. The drugs used are carboplatin, caelyx and avastin, the last two being new drugs that Nicole is having.

She started chemo as the Dr Ngoi believes that surgery would need to be quite extensive, involving the removal of a large section of the colon. She would end up wearing a bag to allow the content of the bowel to exit from the body. Dr Ngoi recommended we try chemo first as surgery is irreversible.

After a long discussion with Dr Karmen Wong, we decided for chemo. On the day of the chemo, Dr Wong informed that, after much prayer, she has been inspired to administer Caelyx instead of taxol. This requires one dose per every three weeks and would have less side effects than taxol. Dr Wong gave her much time, explaining that God does not want us to suffer. She mentioned that ultimately we all shall return back to God our Father. We need not be afraid when our time comes. However, she feels that there is no need for suffering to die. This is indeed a mystery of life. However, God is with us during the time of suffering. Dr Wong prayed with us before Nicole started her chemo.

We considered it a set back that Dr Ngoi could not operate to remove the tumor. It looks like the tumor is in a more dangerous position and is more extensive that we thought.

Of course Nicole is extremely concerned and worried. She realizes that it is becoming more difficult to treat the disease. She is afraid that time is running out.

It has been now three years and four months since Nicole was found ill with cancer. It has been a long and difficult journey, but rich with love and blessings. We have become more appreciative of life, we have seen expression of love by so many persons, and it is as if God is preparing us to detach ourselves from the trappings of this material world. We are from God and we shall return to God. Our spirit is eternal. The body is just a temporary physical medium where our spirit resides for a limited period. Once we become fully cognizant of this reality, then death - the separation of the physical and the spiritual - is no longer seen as terrible and sad event. It is an inevitable but liberating event of one's existence.

We continue to pray and count on your prayers - that God helps us to go through this stage of our life journey with serenity knowing that God is always with us.

Day 1189 Mauritius April 19, 2010 19.23 hrs

Late Saturday evening, I managed to speak to Dr Ngoi who informed that he will be able to do the surgery to remove the tumor. He added that he wanted to consult another doctor to discuss Nicole's situation.

Yesterday we attended mass in memory of Patricia, my sister. We then went the Convent of Bon et Perpetuel Secours at Edith Cavell street, Port Louis to ask for the intercession of Mere Augustine, founder of the Congregation. In the evening we consulted Dr Chitson who prescribed some tablets to alleviate the pain that Nicole was experiencing.

Today I managed to talk to Dr Ngoi. He confirmed that surgery is possible. We are leaving for Singapore on April 20 evening to arrive there on Wednesday April 21 at around 11.00 am. From the airport, we are going directly to Dr Ngoi clinic at Gleneagles hospital.

So far we are getting positive news and favorable events are happening. Praise the Lord.

Day 1187 -Mauritius April 17, 2010 - 15.49 hrs

Nicole felt a lump in her lower abdomen a few days ago. She did not pay much attention to it as we were all taking care of Patricia, my younger sister. I suggested to Nicole that we investigate the nature of this lump. So she had an ultrasound done on the recommendation of Dr Chitson. She did this at Apollo Hospital, a new one in Mauritius. The ultrasound revealed a cystic mass of about 10 cm. We immediately asked for a CA 125 test to be done. This was on April 13. We got the result on April 14 with a reading of 719, way above the last reading done at the end of January. After consulting her oncologist, Dr Karmen Wong, we had a full body CT scan done at Apollo on April 15. The scan shows a large mass in her lower abdomen. Of course we by then got very worried. We consulted the surgeon, Dr SS Ngoi who agreed with Dr Karmen Wong that there is a need to remove this mass by surgery, provided this is possible. I sent a copy of the CT scan film, on a DVD disc, via a relative who was traveling to Singapore on Friday 16 evening.

The DVD is now in Singapore waiting to be delivered to Dr SS Ngoi for him to assess if surgery can be done.

Meanwhile, Nicole and I are both worried, Nicole's is now thinking of worst case scenario. I hope to be able to talk to Dr Ngoi over the week end. We are planning to travel back to Singapore on Tuesday April 20 evening flight if surgery can be done. However, Dr Ngoi is traveling as from April 23 and it is unlikely that he will be doing the surgery, unless this can wait until his return on May 8.

We pray God that He guides us through this. He has been kind to us and has always been with us.

Day 1178 -Mauritius April 9, 2010 - 14.11 hrs

My younger sister, Patricia, left us peacefully surrounded by her family and Florise, my elder sister, at 4.30 am on April 8.

After a long and courageous battle against cancer that lasted six years, Patricia's spirit decided to leave her weak physical body to be freed so as to realize her full potential as this unique person created by God and from God to be part of God.

We celebrated the live of Patricia at Cathedral St Louis this morning and said goodbye to her. This music was heard at the end of the ceremony.

Day 1173 - Mauritius April 4, 2010 - 16.50 hrs

Easter - Christ has risen from the dead in all His Glory.

We are in Mauritius.

My sister, Patricia, appears to be living her final days. She was found ill with cancer some six years ago. After some years of living a normal life, the cancer started to spread since last year. Since we arrived in Mauritius, just before the Chinese new year, her conditions have been deteriorating.

Of course this development has an effect on Nicole. Nicole has been visiting Patricia every week.

It requires a lot of faith in God to accept life events as they occur. To see Patricia in such suffering is not easy.

I keep telling Nicole to trust God, to trust the Lord, that HE is with us.

I ask you reading this blog to pray for Patricia - that she finds peace and love in God and when her time come to leave us, that the Lord welcomes her in His kingdom as he promised the one who was crucified along His side.

Easter is a time of rejoicing as the Lord has overcome death.