My dear family, friends and relatives,
Just to let you know that i'm off chemo this week...what a treat!!!! I'm feeling better.. and my spirit is high and i've got quite a bit of energy too...
Tomorrow Maurice and I we are flying to Bangkok for 4 nights in a health resort in Hua Hin..we both need this break after these 70 days of "not so much a normal life"....to be back on monday night, re-energised and rested for another two sessions of chemo on the 3rd and 11th of April..
I shall be having my tumor marker test done on the 3rd of April..this will indicate whether the chemo would have destroyed some more cancer cells...let's hope that it will be within the normal range.
I also went to see a Traditional chinese medicine doctor on tuesday...he is from Beijing, in Singapore right now, for a month..he's merging the western and the eastern medicine re. cancer treatment.
I've been given Ling Zhi tablets plus herbal powdered drinks for two weeks...to diminish the chemo side effects, strengthen my immune system and prevent cancer cells from growing.
I'm feeling very good i must say..thank the Lord....keep on praying ...and thank you all for your on going support and prayers.
Love you all and God bless, Nicole
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Day 71 March 26, 2007 - 7.53 hrs
Annunciation Day - the Catholic church is celebrating the God's gift of Life - His Son to redeem mankind and the YES of Mary - Her "Let it be" according to God's will. "How do we live our Faith in God" daily is the calling of this celebration.
It is raining heavily and we have thunder and lighting this morning in Singapore.
We attended the 6.30 Novena mass.
Nicole is feeling much better this morning. She mentioned to me that the side effects are diminishing. She even prepared breakfast for me! Praise the Lord, not for the breakfast ... in fact why not but also for her feeling better.
Have a nice day and may Mary pray for all of you.
It is raining heavily and we have thunder and lighting this morning in Singapore.
We attended the 6.30 Novena mass.
Nicole is feeling much better this morning. She mentioned to me that the side effects are diminishing. She even prepared breakfast for me! Praise the Lord, not for the breakfast ... in fact why not but also for her feeling better.
Have a nice day and may Mary pray for all of you.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Day 70 - March 25, 2007 - Singapore 22.04hrs
Only 70 days since we came back to Singapore after Nicole was found with cancer! It appears like ages.
We went to the 7.00hrs mass at St Ignatius. On Sundays we prefer to attend mass at St Ignatius as it is an air-conditioned church. I find it much more comfortable. Today we found a God of compassion - not judging at all and forgiving. And St Paul to blend ourself in the life, passion, death and resurrection of Christ and to"continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling, in Christ Jesus".
We had a nice lunch with some friends and then we rested for the rest of the day.
Nicole was feeling slightly better and we went for walk in the Botanical garden.
We had a quiet evening.
Praise the Lord for this day and His gift of life.
We went to the 7.00hrs mass at St Ignatius. On Sundays we prefer to attend mass at St Ignatius as it is an air-conditioned church. I find it much more comfortable. Today we found a God of compassion - not judging at all and forgiving. And St Paul to blend ourself in the life, passion, death and resurrection of Christ and to"continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling, in Christ Jesus".
We had a nice lunch with some friends and then we rested for the rest of the day.
Nicole was feeling slightly better and we went for walk in the Botanical garden.
We had a quiet evening.
Praise the Lord for this day and His gift of life.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Day 69 - March 24, 2007 Singapore 22.48hrs
This is the third day after the last chemo session. Nicole is feeling the side effects. She finds food tasteless and is not feeling well.
After the 7.00 hrs mass at Novena, Nicole attended a prayer and then we had a quiet morning. We attended a meditation session of cancer survivors at Gleneagles Hospital. It was a good opportunity to share with others after the meditation.
In afternoon, we stayed home and took it easy.
This is one of these days during which we are reminded of the side effects of chemo drugs and the price to pay to control the cancer cells. It is easy for me to say this but certainly not easy for Nicole!
Good night.
After the 7.00 hrs mass at Novena, Nicole attended a prayer and then we had a quiet morning. We attended a meditation session of cancer survivors at Gleneagles Hospital. It was a good opportunity to share with others after the meditation.
In afternoon, we stayed home and took it easy.
This is one of these days during which we are reminded of the side effects of chemo drugs and the price to pay to control the cancer cells. It is easy for me to say this but certainly not easy for Nicole!
Good night.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Day 68 - March 23, 2007 Singapore 22.08hrs
Second day after the B chemo session of cycle 3.
Nicole had a good day. We attended the 6.30 hrs mass at Novena. The priest talked about the mystery of the human being. Each one of us is a mystery - how can we understand another person if we do not understand our own mystery? The priest was preaching about today's reading. The "priests" of His time were using the familiar to discredit Jesus. "He is from Nazareth and we know his parents." They thought they know the origin of Jesus - the human origin forgetting his Divine origin, which is a mystery. Through Jesus, we are children of God and our origin is from God - the Creator of all life.
Wow I am surprised that I remember today's preaching. I usually do not pay attention to the priest's preaching during mass. I used to find some of these priests are so poor public speakers, and lack any clear idea of what they want to convey that I did not have the patience nor was I willing to make an effort to listen. I am finding that I am paying attention to the preaching now. Maybe because these are short and sweet. Mass is over within 30 minutes! Great! Maybe it is God's work also.
We went for a walk in the Botanical Garden No roti prata today! We spend some time sitting on a bench and chit chatting.
After this, Nicole went out with a group of friends to a museum visit. I was so happy to see her leading a normal life.
I went for a Pilates session, with the instructor teaching me how to have the correct posture and doing routines to strengthen my lower abdomen inner muscles. Quite a work out!
After this, I met with a business person who has the intellectual property to a biofeedback technology and knowhow to rehabilitate stroke patients to regain the use of paralyzed part of their bodies. He is introducing the system to the Singapore hospital network. Very interesting perspective for these patients. I am trying to get him to launch his system in Mauritius.
Nicole and I spent a quiet afternoon and early evening at home.
I feel so happy that she is not suffering from the side effects of the chemo. She is managing her lifestyle so well - I keep praying and hoping that she will not feel these side effects!
We are planning our trip to Mauritius (Arrival April 18), then to Fatima, Portugal (May 1-4) and then New York (May 5...). We have yet to fix our departure from New York, most probably May 22 to reach Mauritius on May 24 to connect to the May 25 flight back to Singapore. Nicole will then have some medical tests.
We are looking forward to our pilgrimage to Fatima. It is going to be something new for me as I am not "in" this type of activity.
We are also looking forward to our New York visit as we want to see Dr Gonzales (see http://www.dr-gonzalez.com/regimen.htm) for complimentary treatment for Nicole.
And we are going to attend the graduation of our last son, Gregory at Columbia University.
Well these are plans and God willing, we shall realize them! We keep enjoying each day at a time!
Have a good night. Praise the Lord.
Nicole had a good day. We attended the 6.30 hrs mass at Novena. The priest talked about the mystery of the human being. Each one of us is a mystery - how can we understand another person if we do not understand our own mystery? The priest was preaching about today's reading. The "priests" of His time were using the familiar to discredit Jesus. "He is from Nazareth and we know his parents." They thought they know the origin of Jesus - the human origin forgetting his Divine origin, which is a mystery. Through Jesus, we are children of God and our origin is from God - the Creator of all life.
Wow I am surprised that I remember today's preaching. I usually do not pay attention to the priest's preaching during mass. I used to find some of these priests are so poor public speakers, and lack any clear idea of what they want to convey that I did not have the patience nor was I willing to make an effort to listen. I am finding that I am paying attention to the preaching now. Maybe because these are short and sweet. Mass is over within 30 minutes! Great! Maybe it is God's work also.
We went for a walk in the Botanical Garden No roti prata today! We spend some time sitting on a bench and chit chatting.
After this, Nicole went out with a group of friends to a museum visit. I was so happy to see her leading a normal life.
I went for a Pilates session, with the instructor teaching me how to have the correct posture and doing routines to strengthen my lower abdomen inner muscles. Quite a work out!
After this, I met with a business person who has the intellectual property to a biofeedback technology and knowhow to rehabilitate stroke patients to regain the use of paralyzed part of their bodies. He is introducing the system to the Singapore hospital network. Very interesting perspective for these patients. I am trying to get him to launch his system in Mauritius.
Nicole and I spent a quiet afternoon and early evening at home.
I feel so happy that she is not suffering from the side effects of the chemo. She is managing her lifestyle so well - I keep praying and hoping that she will not feel these side effects!
We are planning our trip to Mauritius (Arrival April 18), then to Fatima, Portugal (May 1-4) and then New York (May 5...). We have yet to fix our departure from New York, most probably May 22 to reach Mauritius on May 24 to connect to the May 25 flight back to Singapore. Nicole will then have some medical tests.
We are looking forward to our pilgrimage to Fatima. It is going to be something new for me as I am not "in" this type of activity.
We are also looking forward to our New York visit as we want to see Dr Gonzales (see http://www.dr-gonzalez.com/regimen.htm) for complimentary treatment for Nicole.
And we are going to attend the graduation of our last son, Gregory at Columbia University.
Well these are plans and God willing, we shall realize them! We keep enjoying each day at a time!
Have a good night. Praise the Lord.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Day 67 - Singapore March 22 - 17.47hrs
First day after the chemo treatment of the third cycle.
Nicole is doing Ok.
We had a quiet morning and went out for lunch. She wanted to eat Chinese food.
After lunch, we took it easy.
I am always amazed by Nicole's resilience after a chemo treatment. Though she finds food tasteless, she continues to eat and is able to withstand the side effects. I thank God for this.
While we were eating, I mentioned to her that I find that she is doing well. She reminded that she has started treatment only 67 days ago. It is a very short period. While the chemo drugs are controlling the cancer cells, we know that the course of her illness is still uncertain. We do hope that her diet, new lifestyle and prayer will inhibit the growth of new cancer cells and tumor.
Meanwhile, we are planning our trip to Mauritius and New York. She wants to go to Fatima, which we are planning to do on our way to New York.
Thank you for your prayers.
Nicole is doing Ok.
We had a quiet morning and went out for lunch. She wanted to eat Chinese food.
After lunch, we took it easy.
I am always amazed by Nicole's resilience after a chemo treatment. Though she finds food tasteless, she continues to eat and is able to withstand the side effects. I thank God for this.
While we were eating, I mentioned to her that I find that she is doing well. She reminded that she has started treatment only 67 days ago. It is a very short period. While the chemo drugs are controlling the cancer cells, we know that the course of her illness is still uncertain. We do hope that her diet, new lifestyle and prayer will inhibit the growth of new cancer cells and tumor.
Meanwhile, we are planning our trip to Mauritius and New York. She wants to go to Fatima, which we are planning to do on our way to New York.
Thank you for your prayers.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Singapore March 21, 2007 - 21.24 hrs
The blood test results are good. Nicole is coping very well with the chemo. We pray that she continues doing well.
The chemo session went well today.
I usually accompany Nicole during her chemo session. We had the appointment with the oncologist at 9.15 hrs. Admitted to the hospital at 10.30 hrs, the nurse started administering the drugs at 11.00hrs -it is a cocktail of chemo drugs of Taxol, Gemzar and Cisplatin. The nurse finished administering these drugs at 18.00 hrs. Thus it is almost a whole day affair.
Nicole was happy to have the visit of two friends, which gave me a break also.
We thank you for your continuing prayer and support.
Good night.
The chemo session went well today.
I usually accompany Nicole during her chemo session. We had the appointment with the oncologist at 9.15 hrs. Admitted to the hospital at 10.30 hrs, the nurse started administering the drugs at 11.00hrs -it is a cocktail of chemo drugs of Taxol, Gemzar and Cisplatin. The nurse finished administering these drugs at 18.00 hrs. Thus it is almost a whole day affair.
Nicole was happy to have the visit of two friends, which gave me a break also.
We thank you for your continuing prayer and support.
Good night.
Day 66: March 21, 2007 - Singapore 10.11hrs
Matante Nicole just got her blood test results and is going for another chemo now.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
March 20 - 23.33hrs
Auditioning for an active role in a science fiction movie???? Smile .....it is only me!
All cancer patients go through this trauma of losing one's hair...and every friend will tell you: Don't worry , when it will grow, you will get the nicest hair..this may not be too comforting at the beginning, but, after some time, somehow, with the love of God, you manage to let go of that trauma and enjoy the little joys that life is offering you.
Cancer is a very traumatising disease to live and experience but it changes your life so much that one can look at it as a blessing...
I'm all set for my chemo session tomorrow..say a small prayer that things go smooth.
Love u all, Nicole
March 20, 2007 - Singapore 23.01 hrs
We are calling it a day after this special day of prayer as Nicole will undergo the second treatment of her third chemo cycle tomorrow . Thanks to all of you who have joined us in prayer. We have been thinking of you and felt comforted and touched by your love - the love of God that you are giving us.
I was particularly touched by this email:
"Chère Nicole,
Si je te demande "Qui manière?", tu me répondras probablement "pas térrible", mais j'imagine avec le petit sourire charmant qui te caractérise ( eh oui, c'est l'image que je garde de toi ) malgré la période difficile que tu traverses actuellement. Nous prions de tout coeur pour que ta guérison intervienne le plus rapidement et pensons très fort à toi . Courage , le sommet de la Montagne Pouce n'est plus très loin !!"
This is a very uplifting message. We have received so many emails today. Thank you for your caring, thoughts and support.
Late morning Nicole went with Anna to the Divine Mercy prayer at Novena.
Late afternoon we did some food shopping - Nicole wanting to eat mangosteen and we then went for a walk at the Botanical garden.
The picture shows Nicole on the bench where we usually sit to enjoy the garden, Today we stayed until 20.00 hrs and enjoyed the calm and peace of the end of the day in garden. We thank God for this gift of the beauty of nature.
We went for a quiet dinner at the American club during which Nicole and I shared how our life has changed since Nicole's illness. Our priorities have changed.
Tomorrow is a chemo day and Nicole has appointment with the oncologist at 9.15 hrs for the blood test results followed by chemo.
Good night.
Day 65 - March 20, 2007 - Singapore 8.25 hrs
Alleluah praise to the Creator of all Life. Thank you for the gift of Life. We are united with you in prayer today.
We attended the 6.30 mass at Novena.
We are getting ready for Nicole to see the doctor for her blood test.
Have a wonderful day and peace be with you.
We attended the 6.30 mass at Novena.
We are getting ready for Nicole to see the doctor for her blood test.
Have a wonderful day and peace be with you.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Day 64 - Singapore March 19, 2007 - 21.53hrs
Nicole was up very early today. The side effects of the chemo drugs started to have an effect on her. However, I admire her will power to fight back. She was up early, did her exercise and woke me up to go to the 7.00 am mass at St Ignatius church. After mass, we went for a walk in the Botanical garden, after a quick breakfast.
We then met Lorna and Bernard for lunch which ended at 14.30hrs. Although she found the food tasteless, Nicole ate as she knows that she cannot afford to lose weight.
We had a quiet afternoon.
I prepared dinner and I felt very sad that Nicole cannot enjoy the food. But I am happy to see that she makes the effort to eat. It must be very hard for her to eat when she finds the food tasteless.
We are counting on all of you joining us in prayer tomorrow. I can already feel the positive energy coming from all of us praying with the same purpose. We shall all be united in prayer tomorrow.
We then met Lorna and Bernard for lunch which ended at 14.30hrs. Although she found the food tasteless, Nicole ate as she knows that she cannot afford to lose weight.
We had a quiet afternoon.
I prepared dinner and I felt very sad that Nicole cannot enjoy the food. But I am happy to see that she makes the effort to eat. It must be very hard for her to eat when she finds the food tasteless.
We are counting on all of you joining us in prayer tomorrow. I can already feel the positive energy coming from all of us praying with the same purpose. We shall all be united in prayer tomorrow.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Day 63 Singapore March 18, 2007 - 11.15 hrs
To join us in the prayer on March 20, I am publishing on this blog the prayer suggested by the Sisters of Bon et Perpetuel Secour to ask for the intercession of Mother Augustine, their founder.
English version:
PRAYER
To obtain graces through the intercession of the servant of God, Mother Mary Augustine Lenferna de Laresle.
O GOD, YOU HAVE PUT INTO THE HEART OF YOUR SERVANT MARY AUGUSTINE, AN ADMIRABLE CHARITY, UNITED TO AN ARDENT DESIRE TO ALLEVIATE ALL SORTS OF MISERIES : BE IT OF THE SOUL OR THE BODY; GRANT US WE BESEECH YOU, THROUGH HER INTERCESSION, TO OBTAIN THE GRACE THAT WE SO LONG FOR ( here you add your prayer intention - in our case "the complete healing of Nicole: body, mind and soul"................
TO YOUR GREAT GLORY AND THE GLORIFICATION OF YOUR SERVANT. AMEN
( 3 Gloria Patri )
En Francais:
O Dieu qui dans le coeur de votre Servante Marie Augustine avez dispose une admirable charite unie a l'ardent desir de soulager toutes les miseres soit de l'ame soit du corps. Accordez, nous vous en supplions par son intercession, la grace que nous desirons obtenir ......................pour votre plus grande gloire, et pour la glorification de votre Servante. Amen.
(3 gloria patri)
Priere de faire connaitre les graces obtenus par son intercession a la:
Superieure Generale/postulation
Srs. de charite de N.D. de BPS
Via Merulana 170
00185 - Roma (Italia)
We are looking forward to all of you to join us in prayer so that we all can be in communion through prayer on this special day of March 20.
Nicole is not feeling well this morning. She is feeling tired and finds that food has no taste. We are taking it very easy. We went to the 7.00 am mass at Novena with Greg.
I dropped Greg at Changi Airport for his 18hrs flight to New York.
English version:
PRAYER
To obtain graces through the intercession of the servant of God, Mother Mary Augustine Lenferna de Laresle.
O GOD, YOU HAVE PUT INTO THE HEART OF YOUR SERVANT MARY AUGUSTINE, AN ADMIRABLE CHARITY, UNITED TO AN ARDENT DESIRE TO ALLEVIATE ALL SORTS OF MISERIES : BE IT OF THE SOUL OR THE BODY; GRANT US WE BESEECH YOU, THROUGH HER INTERCESSION, TO OBTAIN THE GRACE THAT WE SO LONG FOR ( here you add your prayer intention - in our case "the complete healing of Nicole: body, mind and soul"................
TO YOUR GREAT GLORY AND THE GLORIFICATION OF YOUR SERVANT. AMEN
( 3 Gloria Patri )
En Francais:
O Dieu qui dans le coeur de votre Servante Marie Augustine avez dispose une admirable charite unie a l'ardent desir de soulager toutes les miseres soit de l'ame soit du corps. Accordez, nous vous en supplions par son intercession, la grace que nous desirons obtenir ......................pour votre plus grande gloire, et pour la glorification de votre Servante. Amen.
(3 gloria patri)
Priere de faire connaitre les graces obtenus par son intercession a la:
Superieure Generale/postulation
Srs. de charite de N.D. de BPS
Via Merulana 170
00185 - Roma (Italia)
We are looking forward to all of you to join us in prayer so that we all can be in communion through prayer on this special day of March 20.
Nicole is not feeling well this morning. She is feeling tired and finds that food has no taste. We are taking it very easy. We went to the 7.00 am mass at Novena with Greg.
I dropped Greg at Changi Airport for his 18hrs flight to New York.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Day 62 Singapore March 17, 2007 - 22.57 hrs
Nicole and I remind you to pray on March 20 (the anniversary of the birthday of Mother Mary Augustine , born Caroline Lenferna de Laresle) for Nicole's complete healing: physical, emeotional and spiritual. In your prayers please specifically ask Mother Augustine , foundress of "Bon et Perpetuel Secours Congregation" to intercede for Nicole's complete healing.
We had a quiet day with a very slow start of the day, having a late breakfast of fruits. I left Nicole alone to attend a meeting at 12.30. Nicole went to a prayer meeting in the afternoon and join some friends for a late lunch. We rested in the afternoon and went out for dinner with Elizabeth, Pascal and Nathalie at a Japanese restaurant. It was Greg who wanted to go to this Japanese place. We had a nice time and I was particularly touched by Nicole talking about how she felt since she has been diagnosed with cancer and during the chemo treatments. This is the first time that Nicole has been able to talk about her illness in a group.
Nicole is feeling much better during this chemo cycle. I believe that the diet she is following: drinking lots of fresh vegetable juice, fruit juice, detox supplements, plenty of vitamin C and having colon hydrotherapy are contributing to reduce the side effects of the chemo drugs. In addition, her mental condition and spiritual practice are helping a lot.
We thank God for this state of well being. Good night.
We had a quiet day with a very slow start of the day, having a late breakfast of fruits. I left Nicole alone to attend a meeting at 12.30. Nicole went to a prayer meeting in the afternoon and join some friends for a late lunch. We rested in the afternoon and went out for dinner with Elizabeth, Pascal and Nathalie at a Japanese restaurant. It was Greg who wanted to go to this Japanese place. We had a nice time and I was particularly touched by Nicole talking about how she felt since she has been diagnosed with cancer and during the chemo treatments. This is the first time that Nicole has been able to talk about her illness in a group.
Nicole is feeling much better during this chemo cycle. I believe that the diet she is following: drinking lots of fresh vegetable juice, fruit juice, detox supplements, plenty of vitamin C and having colon hydrotherapy are contributing to reduce the side effects of the chemo drugs. In addition, her mental condition and spiritual practice are helping a lot.
We thank God for this state of well being. Good night.
Friday, March 16, 2007
DAY 61 - Singapore March 16, 2007 - 22.38
Nicole is holding up quite well. For a person who had chemotherapy two days ago, she is feeling quite Ok although she is not totally full of energy.
We have been able to go for a walk in the botanical garden yesterday late afternoon. Today we went to the 6.30 mass at novena and Nicole attended the Divine Mercy prayer at Novena at 11.00 hrs.
We had the joy of seeing Antoine, who visited us today. We appreciated much that he took time from his busy schedule to visit us. This is a great gift of love.
We had a quiet afternoon and are taking it easy.
Both Nicole and I thank God that the side effects of the chemo drugs this time around are not having a heavy toll on Nicole's mood, though she finds the food tasteless and she does not feel like eating. I hope Nicole will get through this soon so that she can eat to put on some weight, before the next chemo session.
We are planning to travel to Mauritius , if it is God's will, at the end of the 4th chemo cycle, which is scheduled to end on April 11.
Finally Nicole and I are asking for your special prayer on March 20.
We would like to hold a prayer chain, starting from New Zealand and traveling through the different time zones, through Sydney, Australia, Manila, Hong Kong, Singapore, India, Mauritius, Paris, London, New York, Montreal, Minneapolis, Vancouver to end with the sun set in Hawaii.
We ask you to pray for Nicole's complete healing - physical, emotional and spiritual. We ask you to specifically ask Mother Augustine, founder of Bon et Perpetuel Secour to intercede for Nicole.
We have been able to go for a walk in the botanical garden yesterday late afternoon. Today we went to the 6.30 mass at novena and Nicole attended the Divine Mercy prayer at Novena at 11.00 hrs.
We had the joy of seeing Antoine, who visited us today. We appreciated much that he took time from his busy schedule to visit us. This is a great gift of love.
We had a quiet afternoon and are taking it easy.
Both Nicole and I thank God that the side effects of the chemo drugs this time around are not having a heavy toll on Nicole's mood, though she finds the food tasteless and she does not feel like eating. I hope Nicole will get through this soon so that she can eat to put on some weight, before the next chemo session.
We are planning to travel to Mauritius , if it is God's will, at the end of the 4th chemo cycle, which is scheduled to end on April 11.
Finally Nicole and I are asking for your special prayer on March 20.
We would like to hold a prayer chain, starting from New Zealand and traveling through the different time zones, through Sydney, Australia, Manila, Hong Kong, Singapore, India, Mauritius, Paris, London, New York, Montreal, Minneapolis, Vancouver to end with the sun set in Hawaii.
We ask you to pray for Nicole's complete healing - physical, emotional and spiritual. We ask you to specifically ask Mother Augustine, founder of Bon et Perpetuel Secour to intercede for Nicole.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Day 59 Singapore March 14, 2007 - 22.13 hrs
Nicole started her third chemo cycle today. We started the day by attending the 6.30 mass at Novena. We had a healthy breakfast and we went to the hospital at 9.15. Nicole was in good spirit and very relaxed. I was very impressed by the positive attitude of Nicole. In fact I believe that all the prayers - hers and of the persons who have been praying for her - have produced a miracle. She is freed of her fears. She was feeling so confident and had so much trust in God that she mentioned to me this morning that everything will be Ok today. In fact the chemo session went on smoothly. We thank God for the blessings of having the nurses providing so attentive care and doing their best so that Nicole experienced the least pain possible.
After chemo, we returned home. We had the pleasant gift of healthy and delicious food prepared and delivered to our place. This was a gift from Anna, one of Nicole's best friends. Thank you Anna for this gift of love.
Greg went out. I went to the American club for a workout at the gym. In the evening, Pascal visited us and spent some time with us and did some food shopping for us.
We are calling it a day thanking and praising God for His blessings.
After chemo, we returned home. We had the pleasant gift of healthy and delicious food prepared and delivered to our place. This was a gift from Anna, one of Nicole's best friends. Thank you Anna for this gift of love.
Greg went out. I went to the American club for a workout at the gym. In the evening, Pascal visited us and spent some time with us and did some food shopping for us.
We are calling it a day thanking and praising God for His blessings.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Day 58 Singapore March 13, 2007 - 22.36 hrs
We had a quiet day enjoying the presence of Greg. We attended the 12.15 mass at Novena. Before Nicole, accompanied by Anna, attended the healing prayer session. After mass we had a nice lunch with Nicole now paying particular attention to what she eats, She is not eating any meat, fish, egg, dairy products and sugar.
Animal protein leaves an acidic "ash" after being burnt by the body and makes the body become acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment but die in an alkaline environment. Nicole keeps track of the level of the pH of her body and ensures that her body is at the right pH level.
Egg and dairy products produce mucus in the body and cancer cells thrive in the mucus. Cancer cells feed on sugar.
Thus the strategy is to starve the cancer cells of their nutrients and eliminate the environment that is conducive to their growth. This is what is called 'to cut the supply line of the enemy" in a battle.
In addition, she is taking 10 grams of vitamin C daily. Vitamin C is a cancer cell killer.
She continues to drink fresh fruit and vegetable juice daily. The surgeon reminded her to drink these juices.
We are better prepared for this third cycle of chemo and I am hoping that Nicole will be able to withstand the side effects.
We are blessed to have medical doctors who believe in complementary treatments and encourage us to take supplements and vitamins.
Animal protein leaves an acidic "ash" after being burnt by the body and makes the body become acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment but die in an alkaline environment. Nicole keeps track of the level of the pH of her body and ensures that her body is at the right pH level.
Egg and dairy products produce mucus in the body and cancer cells thrive in the mucus. Cancer cells feed on sugar.
Thus the strategy is to starve the cancer cells of their nutrients and eliminate the environment that is conducive to their growth. This is what is called 'to cut the supply line of the enemy" in a battle.
In addition, she is taking 10 grams of vitamin C daily. Vitamin C is a cancer cell killer.
She continues to drink fresh fruit and vegetable juice daily. The surgeon reminded her to drink these juices.
We are better prepared for this third cycle of chemo and I am hoping that Nicole will be able to withstand the side effects.
We are blessed to have medical doctors who believe in complementary treatments and encourage us to take supplements and vitamins.
Monday, March 12, 2007
March 12 - 22.06 hrs
Yes, the surgeon is not willing to do the surgery to remove the tumor. He believes that it is still too dangerous to perform the surgery. There is not enough margin of safety.
I was somewhat disappointed as I had expected that the chemo would have reduced the tumor to an insignificant size to allow surgery. In fact, the prognosis is encouraging. The tumor has shrunk to 1.5 cm. When first discovered it was about 6-7 cm. In fact, the MRI films do not show the tumor. No wonder that the doctors missed this tumor when Nicole went for her regular medical check up last November!
Bottom line Nicole has to undergo 2 more chemo cycles, starting on Wednesday March 14 morning. While I was disappointed, Nicole was in good spirit. Her mind is geared for these 2 chemo cycles. It is planned that these 2 cycles will end on April 11.
We are planning to travel to the US to attend Greg's graduation. Commencement at Columbia University is on May 16.
Looking at today's event, I can only conclude that this is God's will. The chemo is working and it pays to continue the chemo treatment - which both Dr. Ngoi and Dr Wong are recommending. I am glad that Dr Ngoi, the surgeon is professional. Although I was insisting for surgery, he cautioned me by saying that he could easily do the surgery and be paid for it. But he pointed out that he wants to give the best advice to the patient as he works for the good interest of the patient.
Dr Wong, the oncologist, is very glad to see that Nicole is willing to continue the chemotherapy.
Nicole is more prepared this time. I am glad to notice that she is full of energy and determined to take care of herself. I believe that it is her spiritual awareness that is helping her. She lives trusting God and has complete faith in God.
Meanwhile we are enjoying the presence of Gregory.
I was somewhat disappointed as I had expected that the chemo would have reduced the tumor to an insignificant size to allow surgery. In fact, the prognosis is encouraging. The tumor has shrunk to 1.5 cm. When first discovered it was about 6-7 cm. In fact, the MRI films do not show the tumor. No wonder that the doctors missed this tumor when Nicole went for her regular medical check up last November!
Bottom line Nicole has to undergo 2 more chemo cycles, starting on Wednesday March 14 morning. While I was disappointed, Nicole was in good spirit. Her mind is geared for these 2 chemo cycles. It is planned that these 2 cycles will end on April 11.
We are planning to travel to the US to attend Greg's graduation. Commencement at Columbia University is on May 16.
Looking at today's event, I can only conclude that this is God's will. The chemo is working and it pays to continue the chemo treatment - which both Dr. Ngoi and Dr Wong are recommending. I am glad that Dr Ngoi, the surgeon is professional. Although I was insisting for surgery, he cautioned me by saying that he could easily do the surgery and be paid for it. But he pointed out that he wants to give the best advice to the patient as he works for the good interest of the patient.
Dr Wong, the oncologist, is very glad to see that Nicole is willing to continue the chemotherapy.
Nicole is more prepared this time. I am glad to notice that she is full of energy and determined to take care of herself. I believe that it is her spiritual awareness that is helping her. She lives trusting God and has complete faith in God.
Meanwhile we are enjoying the presence of Gregory.
Day 57: Singapore/Mon 12 Mar 07/5.50pm
A quick update:
Surgery has been ruled out for now. Matante Nicole is due to go back for a chemotherapy session on Wednesday.
Surgery has been ruled out for now. Matante Nicole is due to go back for a chemotherapy session on Wednesday.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Singapore March 11 - 21.04 hrs
Nicole and Greg - photo taken this morning.
Live one day at a time. We had a relatively quiet day. We had the visit of Pascal in the late afternoon and had a quiet and simple dinner at home.
Nicole is relaxed and is not thinking about tomorrow. She has an appointment with Dr. Ngoi, the surgeon at 15.15 hrs followed by an appointment with Dr. Karmen Wong, the oncologist.
While Nicole is feeling well, I have been grappling with the question: "What does it
mean to live life fully?"
I suppose that to be able to be "fully alive" one has to live consciously. And I find this explanation to be very appropriate:
"Living consciously is a state of being mentally active rather than passive. It is the ability to look at the world through fresh eyes.It is intelligence taking joy in its own function. Living consciously is seeking to be aware of everything that bears our interests, actions, values, purposes, and goals. It is the willingness to confront facts, pleasant or unpleasant. It is the desire to discover our mistakes and correct them... it is the quest to keep expanding our awareness and understanding, both of the world external to self and of the world within." from the Art of Living Consciously by Nathaniel Branden.
The question I am asking myself is then "Am I living consciously?"
My answer is not 100%. I guess that I need to be able to reach a level of self-awareness so that I can know myself at the deepest level which then would allow me to know my values and purpose in life and then to align my behavior according to these.
The illness of Nicole has allowed me increase a little bit my level of self-awareness - like I know that I am a sensitive person - In fact Nicole always mentioned that I was so insensitive to people's feelings. I now pay a little more attention to "other-awareness"
However, I am still a long way from reaching total full self-awareness!
Day 56 Singapore MArch 11, 2007 - 15.35hrs
This morning we had the pleasant gift of welcoming Gregory who, after 18hrs direct NY-Sing flight, reached home safely. Both Nicole and I were overjoyed to see Greg back home in Singapore.
We went to the 8.15 hrs mass at St Ignatius Church. It is so nice to be able to attend mass in an air-conditioned church. And I was wondering when there will be air conditioned church in Mauritius.
After mass we took it easy and went to lunch at the American club. Elizabeth joined us for lunch.
We then did some food shopping as Nicole is eating more fresh -"live" food. So we need to find fresh fruits and fresh vegetables.
We are back home and taking it easy for the rest of the day.
We went to the 8.15 hrs mass at St Ignatius Church. It is so nice to be able to attend mass in an air-conditioned church. And I was wondering when there will be air conditioned church in Mauritius.
After mass we took it easy and went to lunch at the American club. Elizabeth joined us for lunch.
We then did some food shopping as Nicole is eating more fresh -"live" food. So we need to find fresh fruits and fresh vegetables.
We are back home and taking it easy for the rest of the day.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Singapore March 10 - 21.24hrs
Below is a note sent to us by Roby Bathfield.
What a responsibility as married couple!
ETRE COUPLE CHRETIEN AUJOURD’HUI.2.
Il existe, en Allemagne, une maison specialisée où sont accueillis des enfants qui sont à la fois: sourds, muets et aveugles. Ces enfants sont,bien sur, encadrés par tout un personnel specialisé.
Comment communiquer avec quelqu’un qui est à la fois sourd, muet et aveugle? Il n’y a qu’une seule facon: c’est par les mains, le toucher..
A l’entrée de cette maison, il y a un énorme bloc de pierre sur lequel il est ecrit, à l’intention des infirmiers(es): “Dieu n’a pas d’autres mains que tes mains..”
1. Dieu veut avoir besoin de nous.
Dieu a créé l’immensité de l’univers: le soleil, la terre, toutes les étoiles, les galaxies, les constellations.. Il a créé la mer et les poissons, la terre avec toutes les plantes, les fleurs, les fruits, les animaux, les humains.. Il est Tout-Puissant.
Dieu nous a donné la vie. Il a fait de nous ses enfants. Il nous aime d’une Tendresse Infinie.
Dieu sait que chaque jour, nous avons besoin de pain pour vivre..
Puisqu’Il est Tout-Puissant, Il aurait pu déposer chaque jour, du pain sur notre table.
Mais Il choisit de mettre, sur notre route, des agriculteurs, des boulangers...
A tarvers les boulangers, c’est Dieu Lui-même qui nous donne du pain.
Dieu sait que nous avons tous besoin d’une maison..
Lui qui est Tout-Puissant, Il aurait pu nous créer des maisons et les faire descendre du ciel. Ca ne Lui aurait rien couté..
Mais Il choisit de mettre, sur notre route: des constructeurs, des architectes...
A travers eux, c’est Dieu Lui-même qui nous donne une maison.
Plus que de pain et de maison, Dieu sait que nous avons besoin d’amour. Il sait que nous avons tous un besoin fondamental d’aimer et d’être aimé..
Il aurait pu nous apparaitre chaque jour pour nous dire et nous manifester son Amour, sa Tendresse...
Dieu a créé Véronique. Il sait que Véronique a besoin d’aimer et d’être aimée. Il met sur sa route: Nicholas.
Nicholas qu’Il a créé avec un coeur capable d’amour et de tendresse, de générosité et de sentiments. Nicholas avec toute sa loyauté, son dévouement et sa force tranquille..
Il met Veronique sur la route de Nicholas. Véronique à qui Il a donné une grande sensibilité, un coeur capable de tendresse, d’émotions, de sentiments, de patience; un coeur capable d’accueillir et d’écouter.
2. Dieu veut avoir besoin de nous pour incarner et manifester son amour.
Dieu donne à Véronique et à Nicholas de se rencontrer, et fait jaillir en eux un amour si grand et si fort, qu’il leur semble que rien ne pourra lui porter atteinte et qu’il ne finira jamais.
Véronique et Nicholas vont se marier. Ils ont compris que par le sacrement du mariage, Dieu, Lui-même, va les consacrer..
“Aimez-vous comme Je vous ai aimés..” Dieu met son coeur à la place de leur coeur. Il leur donne sa capacité d’aimer. Il leur communique son amour infini. Véronique et Nicholas sont branchés sur cette source d’amour infini qu’est Dieu Lui-même afin qu’ils deviennent, l’un pour l’autre, la présence de la Tendresse Infinie de Dieu.
3. Dieu nous confie la responsabilité de perpétuer sa présence, de le rendre présent.
Dieu appelle (la vocation) Véronique et Nicholas. Il leur confie la responsabilité (la mission), d’être l’un pour l’autre le SIGNE et la PRESENCE et de son amour infini.
Dieu n’a pas, pour Véronique, d’autres paroles de tendresse et de réconfort que celles de Nicholas. C’est à travers lui qu’Il va révéler à Véronique son amour et lui donner tendresse et réconfort.
Dieu n’a pas, pour Nicholas, d’autres paroles de tendresse et de réconfort que celles de Véronique. C’est à travers elle qu’Il va lui révéler son Amour et sa Tendresse infinie.
Dieu veut passer par le coeur, les paroles et les gestes de tendresse de Véronique pour révéler à Nicholas son amour infini.
Il veut passer par le coeur, les paroles et les gestes de tendresse de Nicholas pour révéler à Véronique son amour infini
Dieu confie Véronique à Nicholas pour qu’à travers son amour elle découvre l’immensité de l’amour de Dieu.
Dieu confie Nicholas à Véronique pour qu’à travers son amour il découvre l’immensité de l’amour de Dieu.
4. Le mariage: une responsabilité, un engagement.!
Nicholas et Véronique demandent le sacrement du mariage, cela veut dire qu’ils veulent assumer la responsabilité d’incarner et d’être l’un pour l’autre, la présence de la Tendresse Infinie de Dieu. QUELLE RESPONSABILITÉ! QUEL PROGRAMME DE VIE!
Comme Dieu:
-- ils promettent d’être toujours à l’écoute l’un de l’autre, de toujours le/la comprendre, de toujours l’accueillir...
-- ils promettent de toujours prendre en considération l’opinion de l’autre.
-- ils promettent de se re-choisir chaque matin.
-- ils promettent de se respecter l’un l’autre dans leurs différences; d’accepter l’autre et de l’aimer tel qu’il/elle est.
-- ils promettent d’accepter l’autre quand les blessures de son enfance et de son passé refont surface.
-- ils promettent de toujours vivre en fonction l’un de l’autre qui n’a ni le même caractère, ni le même tempérament, ni les mêmes rêves..
-- ils promettent de toujours pardonner ( et c’est difficile et douloureux lorsque l’on est blessé par l’être qui nous tient le plus à coeur, qui est toute notre vie et pour qui nous avons tout quitté..)
-- ils promettent de toujours recommencer.. chaque jour, pendant toute la vie...
--ils promettent de toujours s’aimer.. comme Dieu.!
5. Le Mariage: Un amour à plein temps.
Pour Nicholas et Véronique, réussir leur amour n’est pas un “part-time job” ni un “hobby” à côté de leur travail, de leur sport ou de leur vie sociale...
Réussir leur amour c’est leur raison d’être, c’est leur vocation, c’est leur raison de vivre, leur mission. Réussir leur amour c’est réussir leur vie.!
********************************
Parole de Dieu.
-- “Ce n’est pas vous qui m’avez choisis. C’est Moi qui vous ai choisis et institués pour que vous alliez, que vous portiez du fruit et que votre fruit demeure..” (Jn.15,16.)
-- “Dieu est amour: qui demeure dans l’amour demeure en Dieu, et Dieu demeure en lui..” (I Jn.4,16.)
-- “..aimons-nous les uns les autres, car l’amour vient de Dieu, et quiconque aime est né de Dieu et parvient a la connaissance de Dieu. Qui n’aime pas n’a pas découvert Dieu, car Dieu est amour..(I Jn.4,7-8.).
-- “.. je vis, mais ce n’est plus moi, c’est le Christ qui vit en moi..” (Galates.2,20.)
**************************
Préparation de la réunion:
A. Les conjoints, Séparément, prennent le temps de réfléchir à la célébration de leur mariage. Est-ce qu’au moment de leur mariage ils étaient conscients de la beauté et de la grandeur de leur amour, de la valeur inestimable de leur sacrement de mariage, de leur vocation commune et de leur mission..?
B. Chaque conjoint s’arrète afin de prendre conscience de l’amour qu’il/elle a pour son conjoint. A travers lui/elle, c’est Dieu qui est là et qui veut manifester sa Tendresse Infinie à son conjoint..
C. Dieu est Amour. Cet amour formidable que tu portes au fond de ton coeur, c’est une présence de Dieu qui est Tendresse Infinie. Connaitre cet amour, c’est connaitre Dieu Lui-même (l.Jn.4,7.): “ celui qui aime connait Dieu..”. Dieu n’est pas un vieil homme barbu assis sur un nuage. Dieu est cet amour source de joie profonde qui bouleverse ta vie et te transforme.
D. Chaque conjoint, prend le temps de se remémorer quelques évènements de leur vie commune dans lesquels son/sa partenaire a vraiment été pour lui/elle, une manifestation de la présence de la Tendresse de Dieu.
Partage en couple.
(en présence de Dieu et dans le recueillement.. Et ils termineront par une prière.).
1. Chacun partage avec son conjoint le fruit de sa réflexion personnelle.
2. Les conjoints se remercient réciproquement pour leur amour..
Partage en Réunion.
1. Dans ce thème d’étude, y a-t-il des choses que vous n’avez pas saisies ou que vous avez de la difficulté à accepter?
2. Chacun fera part de ses réflexions et de la facon dont ce thème a été vécu en couple.
*************************
PRIERE.
J’ai besoin de toi.
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui tes mains
pour s’ouvrir, pour accueillir et pour donner ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur,
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui tes lèvres
pour sourire à tes frères, embrasser le mal-aimé, dénoncer les injustices ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur,
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui tes yeux
pour admirer et contempler les merveilles d’amour vécues par tes frères ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur ;
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui ton cœur
pour battre au rythme des peines et des joies de mon peuple ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur...!
********************************
What a responsibility as married couple!
ETRE COUPLE CHRETIEN AUJOURD’HUI.2.
Il existe, en Allemagne, une maison specialisée où sont accueillis des enfants qui sont à la fois: sourds, muets et aveugles. Ces enfants sont,bien sur, encadrés par tout un personnel specialisé.
Comment communiquer avec quelqu’un qui est à la fois sourd, muet et aveugle? Il n’y a qu’une seule facon: c’est par les mains, le toucher..
A l’entrée de cette maison, il y a un énorme bloc de pierre sur lequel il est ecrit, à l’intention des infirmiers(es): “Dieu n’a pas d’autres mains que tes mains..”
1. Dieu veut avoir besoin de nous.
Dieu a créé l’immensité de l’univers: le soleil, la terre, toutes les étoiles, les galaxies, les constellations.. Il a créé la mer et les poissons, la terre avec toutes les plantes, les fleurs, les fruits, les animaux, les humains.. Il est Tout-Puissant.
Dieu nous a donné la vie. Il a fait de nous ses enfants. Il nous aime d’une Tendresse Infinie.
Dieu sait que chaque jour, nous avons besoin de pain pour vivre..
Puisqu’Il est Tout-Puissant, Il aurait pu déposer chaque jour, du pain sur notre table.
Mais Il choisit de mettre, sur notre route, des agriculteurs, des boulangers...
A tarvers les boulangers, c’est Dieu Lui-même qui nous donne du pain.
Dieu sait que nous avons tous besoin d’une maison..
Lui qui est Tout-Puissant, Il aurait pu nous créer des maisons et les faire descendre du ciel. Ca ne Lui aurait rien couté..
Mais Il choisit de mettre, sur notre route: des constructeurs, des architectes...
A travers eux, c’est Dieu Lui-même qui nous donne une maison.
Plus que de pain et de maison, Dieu sait que nous avons besoin d’amour. Il sait que nous avons tous un besoin fondamental d’aimer et d’être aimé..
Il aurait pu nous apparaitre chaque jour pour nous dire et nous manifester son Amour, sa Tendresse...
Dieu a créé Véronique. Il sait que Véronique a besoin d’aimer et d’être aimée. Il met sur sa route: Nicholas.
Nicholas qu’Il a créé avec un coeur capable d’amour et de tendresse, de générosité et de sentiments. Nicholas avec toute sa loyauté, son dévouement et sa force tranquille..
Il met Veronique sur la route de Nicholas. Véronique à qui Il a donné une grande sensibilité, un coeur capable de tendresse, d’émotions, de sentiments, de patience; un coeur capable d’accueillir et d’écouter.
2. Dieu veut avoir besoin de nous pour incarner et manifester son amour.
Dieu donne à Véronique et à Nicholas de se rencontrer, et fait jaillir en eux un amour si grand et si fort, qu’il leur semble que rien ne pourra lui porter atteinte et qu’il ne finira jamais.
Véronique et Nicholas vont se marier. Ils ont compris que par le sacrement du mariage, Dieu, Lui-même, va les consacrer..
“Aimez-vous comme Je vous ai aimés..” Dieu met son coeur à la place de leur coeur. Il leur donne sa capacité d’aimer. Il leur communique son amour infini. Véronique et Nicholas sont branchés sur cette source d’amour infini qu’est Dieu Lui-même afin qu’ils deviennent, l’un pour l’autre, la présence de la Tendresse Infinie de Dieu.
3. Dieu nous confie la responsabilité de perpétuer sa présence, de le rendre présent.
Dieu appelle (la vocation) Véronique et Nicholas. Il leur confie la responsabilité (la mission), d’être l’un pour l’autre le SIGNE et la PRESENCE et de son amour infini.
Dieu n’a pas, pour Véronique, d’autres paroles de tendresse et de réconfort que celles de Nicholas. C’est à travers lui qu’Il va révéler à Véronique son amour et lui donner tendresse et réconfort.
Dieu n’a pas, pour Nicholas, d’autres paroles de tendresse et de réconfort que celles de Véronique. C’est à travers elle qu’Il va lui révéler son Amour et sa Tendresse infinie.
Dieu veut passer par le coeur, les paroles et les gestes de tendresse de Véronique pour révéler à Nicholas son amour infini.
Il veut passer par le coeur, les paroles et les gestes de tendresse de Nicholas pour révéler à Véronique son amour infini
Dieu confie Véronique à Nicholas pour qu’à travers son amour elle découvre l’immensité de l’amour de Dieu.
Dieu confie Nicholas à Véronique pour qu’à travers son amour il découvre l’immensité de l’amour de Dieu.
4. Le mariage: une responsabilité, un engagement.!
Nicholas et Véronique demandent le sacrement du mariage, cela veut dire qu’ils veulent assumer la responsabilité d’incarner et d’être l’un pour l’autre, la présence de la Tendresse Infinie de Dieu. QUELLE RESPONSABILITÉ! QUEL PROGRAMME DE VIE!
Comme Dieu:
-- ils promettent d’être toujours à l’écoute l’un de l’autre, de toujours le/la comprendre, de toujours l’accueillir...
-- ils promettent de toujours prendre en considération l’opinion de l’autre.
-- ils promettent de se re-choisir chaque matin.
-- ils promettent de se respecter l’un l’autre dans leurs différences; d’accepter l’autre et de l’aimer tel qu’il/elle est.
-- ils promettent d’accepter l’autre quand les blessures de son enfance et de son passé refont surface.
-- ils promettent de toujours vivre en fonction l’un de l’autre qui n’a ni le même caractère, ni le même tempérament, ni les mêmes rêves..
-- ils promettent de toujours pardonner ( et c’est difficile et douloureux lorsque l’on est blessé par l’être qui nous tient le plus à coeur, qui est toute notre vie et pour qui nous avons tout quitté..)
-- ils promettent de toujours recommencer.. chaque jour, pendant toute la vie...
--ils promettent de toujours s’aimer.. comme Dieu.!
5. Le Mariage: Un amour à plein temps.
Pour Nicholas et Véronique, réussir leur amour n’est pas un “part-time job” ni un “hobby” à côté de leur travail, de leur sport ou de leur vie sociale...
Réussir leur amour c’est leur raison d’être, c’est leur vocation, c’est leur raison de vivre, leur mission. Réussir leur amour c’est réussir leur vie.!
********************************
Parole de Dieu.
-- “Ce n’est pas vous qui m’avez choisis. C’est Moi qui vous ai choisis et institués pour que vous alliez, que vous portiez du fruit et que votre fruit demeure..” (Jn.15,16.)
-- “Dieu est amour: qui demeure dans l’amour demeure en Dieu, et Dieu demeure en lui..” (I Jn.4,16.)
-- “..aimons-nous les uns les autres, car l’amour vient de Dieu, et quiconque aime est né de Dieu et parvient a la connaissance de Dieu. Qui n’aime pas n’a pas découvert Dieu, car Dieu est amour..(I Jn.4,7-8.).
-- “.. je vis, mais ce n’est plus moi, c’est le Christ qui vit en moi..” (Galates.2,20.)
**************************
Préparation de la réunion:
A. Les conjoints, Séparément, prennent le temps de réfléchir à la célébration de leur mariage. Est-ce qu’au moment de leur mariage ils étaient conscients de la beauté et de la grandeur de leur amour, de la valeur inestimable de leur sacrement de mariage, de leur vocation commune et de leur mission..?
B. Chaque conjoint s’arrète afin de prendre conscience de l’amour qu’il/elle a pour son conjoint. A travers lui/elle, c’est Dieu qui est là et qui veut manifester sa Tendresse Infinie à son conjoint..
C. Dieu est Amour. Cet amour formidable que tu portes au fond de ton coeur, c’est une présence de Dieu qui est Tendresse Infinie. Connaitre cet amour, c’est connaitre Dieu Lui-même (l.Jn.4,7.): “ celui qui aime connait Dieu..”. Dieu n’est pas un vieil homme barbu assis sur un nuage. Dieu est cet amour source de joie profonde qui bouleverse ta vie et te transforme.
D. Chaque conjoint, prend le temps de se remémorer quelques évènements de leur vie commune dans lesquels son/sa partenaire a vraiment été pour lui/elle, une manifestation de la présence de la Tendresse de Dieu.
Partage en couple.
(en présence de Dieu et dans le recueillement.. Et ils termineront par une prière.).
1. Chacun partage avec son conjoint le fruit de sa réflexion personnelle.
2. Les conjoints se remercient réciproquement pour leur amour..
Partage en Réunion.
1. Dans ce thème d’étude, y a-t-il des choses que vous n’avez pas saisies ou que vous avez de la difficulté à accepter?
2. Chacun fera part de ses réflexions et de la facon dont ce thème a été vécu en couple.
*************************
PRIERE.
J’ai besoin de toi.
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui tes mains
pour s’ouvrir, pour accueillir et pour donner ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur,
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui tes lèvres
pour sourire à tes frères, embrasser le mal-aimé, dénoncer les injustices ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur,
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui tes yeux
pour admirer et contempler les merveilles d’amour vécues par tes frères ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur ;
Tu m’as dit, Seigneur :
« Il me faut aujourd’hui ton cœur
pour battre au rythme des peines et des joies de mon peuple ».
Loué sois-tu, Seigneur...!
********************************
Day 55 Singapore March 10, 2007 - 18.54 hrs
Ivy has returned to Mauritius today.
We thank Anna for driving us to the 7.00 hrs mass at Novena, and for dropping Ivy at Changi airport. Nicole and Anna went for a prayer session at Novena while I was at the gym at the American club for a good workout.
Nicole is feeling well and she is very active. We went out for lunch, being the guests of Gigi and Tarek. This couple from Egypt are our friends for a very long time. They were in London when we were in London and we are very blessed to have them here in Singapore. The picture shows Nicole with Gigi and Tarek. Nicole shared her spiritual experience with them and I was very touched by her sharing with our friends who are of Islamic faith.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Singapore March 8, 2007 -19.55 hrs
"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose hope is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream;
it fears not the heat when it comes,
its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit."
This piece from Jeremiah was part of the first reading at today's mass.
What a fitting text for today. Nicole places her faith and trust in the LORD.
The workings of the LORD via the chemo drugs show the glory of God. God gives man intelligence and the drive to develop new medical drugs to fight diseases. Dr Wong was very glad to note that Nicole's health improvement was indeed remarkable. She did mention when Nicole started her chemo treatment that we need God's intervention for the chemo drugs to be effective. These drugs had a 60% probability of working.
The reading of the Gospel at today's mass was the story of the rich man and Lazarus. The lesson is not that those who are rich cannot get into heaven. The teaching is about compassion. It is his lack of compassion that got the rich man into trouble. Compassion - a sentiment that I lack as Nicole keeps reminding me. Her illness is teaching me to learn about compassion.
The other teaching of today's reading is that one should not expect extra ordinary events to believe in God! No point sending back Lazarus to tell the rich man's brothers about God. The same applies to us. Jesus has taught us all that is needed to believe in Him, in God the Father and in the Holy Spirit.
These are new lessons for me from this text, a text that I have heard so many times at mass.
I ask you to pray for us, to pray in family for your family, for all the relatives, friends, acquaintances, for the Pope and our Bishop, Cardinal Margeot, the priests and the leaders of our country.
whose hope is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream;
it fears not the heat when it comes,
its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit."
This piece from Jeremiah was part of the first reading at today's mass.
What a fitting text for today. Nicole places her faith and trust in the LORD.
The workings of the LORD via the chemo drugs show the glory of God. God gives man intelligence and the drive to develop new medical drugs to fight diseases. Dr Wong was very glad to note that Nicole's health improvement was indeed remarkable. She did mention when Nicole started her chemo treatment that we need God's intervention for the chemo drugs to be effective. These drugs had a 60% probability of working.
The reading of the Gospel at today's mass was the story of the rich man and Lazarus. The lesson is not that those who are rich cannot get into heaven. The teaching is about compassion. It is his lack of compassion that got the rich man into trouble. Compassion - a sentiment that I lack as Nicole keeps reminding me. Her illness is teaching me to learn about compassion.
The other teaching of today's reading is that one should not expect extra ordinary events to believe in God! No point sending back Lazarus to tell the rich man's brothers about God. The same applies to us. Jesus has taught us all that is needed to believe in Him, in God the Father and in the Holy Spirit.
These are new lessons for me from this text, a text that I have heard so many times at mass.
I ask you to pray for us, to pray in family for your family, for all the relatives, friends, acquaintances, for the Pope and our Bishop, Cardinal Margeot, the priests and the leaders of our country.
Day 53: Singapore/Thu 8 Mar 07/13.58pm
Talked to uncle Maurice about noon today. At that time, they just went to see the oncologist. Only 1 of the 3 cancer marker has abnormal readings. Even that, it has dropped from an initial 160+ to 70+ (The normal range is in the 30+). This is really a great improvement as it has decreased by about 50%.
The next option perhaps will be surgery provided that the surgeon agrees. Matante Nicole will be going for an MRI scan tomorrow. Thereafter, if the surgeon gives the greenlight, she will be hospitalised on Monday and surgery will be on Tuesday. That's all for now. Very encouraging indeed! Let's continue to pray!
The next option perhaps will be surgery provided that the surgeon agrees. Matante Nicole will be going for an MRI scan tomorrow. Thereafter, if the surgeon gives the greenlight, she will be hospitalised on Monday and surgery will be on Tuesday. That's all for now. Very encouraging indeed! Let's continue to pray!
Day 53 Singapore March 8, 2007 - 14.05hrs
We had good news from the oncologist. Of the 3 tumor markers, the results of the blood test show that only one marker - CA 19.9 - is outside the normal range. The latest reading is 71.2 when it needs to be below 39. However, as Dr Karmen Wong pointed out, the trend is more important. The reading at the previous test was 164 and it is now 71.2, which is an encouraging sign. She did stress that we cannot and should not expect that there will be no cancer cell in Nicole's body.
Going forward, Dr Wong outlined two possible courses of action:
1. Radiation with chemo - to shrink the tumor more, but if this fails then chemo would be less effective; and
2. Surgery to remove the tumor followed by chemo to address the liver and rib bone problems.
We are opting for surgery, provided the surgeon can confirm that it is can be done with no negative impact on the intestine and rectum.
Thus Nicole will have an MRI scan of the lower pelvic region tomorrow to get a better picture of the tumor situation. She has an appointment with the surgeon, Dr Ngoi on Monday afternoon. He will tell us what is the likelihood of success of the surgery. If we decide to proceed for surgery, Nicole will be admitted to the hospital on Monday afternoon for surgery on Tuesday.
We are reaching an important decision time.
We need all the prayers so that both doctors and us make the right decision.
This would not be an ordinary surgery as there are major blood vessels in the region of the tumor. Thus we are going to rely very much on the opinion of the surgeon to decide if we proceed or not. We trust Dr. Ngoi as we have dealt with him before. He has never been in a rush to recommend surgery. He wants to perform surgery if he is sure he has a high probability of success. This is a good sign.
We praise the Lord for this tremendous progress. We count on your continuing prayers and support.
Going forward, Dr Wong outlined two possible courses of action:
1. Radiation with chemo - to shrink the tumor more, but if this fails then chemo would be less effective; and
2. Surgery to remove the tumor followed by chemo to address the liver and rib bone problems.
We are opting for surgery, provided the surgeon can confirm that it is can be done with no negative impact on the intestine and rectum.
Thus Nicole will have an MRI scan of the lower pelvic region tomorrow to get a better picture of the tumor situation. She has an appointment with the surgeon, Dr Ngoi on Monday afternoon. He will tell us what is the likelihood of success of the surgery. If we decide to proceed for surgery, Nicole will be admitted to the hospital on Monday afternoon for surgery on Tuesday.
We are reaching an important decision time.
We need all the prayers so that both doctors and us make the right decision.
This would not be an ordinary surgery as there are major blood vessels in the region of the tumor. Thus we are going to rely very much on the opinion of the surgeon to decide if we proceed or not. We trust Dr. Ngoi as we have dealt with him before. He has never been in a rush to recommend surgery. He wants to perform surgery if he is sure he has a high probability of success. This is a good sign.
We praise the Lord for this tremendous progress. We count on your continuing prayers and support.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Day 52: Singapore/Wed 7 Mar 07/11.58pm
An observation: A couple of weeks ago, whenever I called or saw matante, Nicole, I would ask how she was feeling. Her reply would be "How could I say I am feeling good when I have cancer".
Interestingly, more recently, the reply to the same question would be "I am full of energy. I did so many things today, went out, exercised, etc .. Or, I was not feeling too good at one point today but doing OK generally." Positive and energised ...
Tonight, I paid matante Nicole a visit as "Ma Soeur", Ivy, could not wait to "feed" me with Mauritian food or whatever food comes under her hands. "Growing boy", she says. Yah, I was "missing in action" since last Friday.
And goodness, I must say that matante Nicole had much more energy than I had. I was just dead tired after work. Amazing!!!! It was a nice evening and I got reenergised thereafter!
Interestingly, more recently, the reply to the same question would be "I am full of energy. I did so many things today, went out, exercised, etc .. Or, I was not feeling too good at one point today but doing OK generally." Positive and energised ...
Tonight, I paid matante Nicole a visit as "Ma Soeur", Ivy, could not wait to "feed" me with Mauritian food or whatever food comes under her hands. "Growing boy", she says. Yah, I was "missing in action" since last Friday.
And goodness, I must say that matante Nicole had much more energy than I had. I was just dead tired after work. Amazing!!!! It was a nice evening and I got reenergised thereafter!
Day 52 Singapore March 7, 2007 - 17.27 hrs
Nicole is doing well as you can read from her posting.
We shall have the result of her blood test tomorrow. This is important as we shall know to what extent the chemo drugs have been effective.
I am writing this posting while I am sitting at the American Club where I have been doing some work since 15.00 hrs. This shows to what extent Nicole is feeling well. She is with her sister, Ivy, enjoying every moment of life.
We thank God for this great day.
We shall have the result of her blood test tomorrow. This is important as we shall know to what extent the chemo drugs have been effective.
I am writing this posting while I am sitting at the American Club where I have been doing some work since 15.00 hrs. This shows to what extent Nicole is feeling well. She is with her sister, Ivy, enjoying every moment of life.
We thank God for this great day.
Wednesday March 27,Singapore
My very dear family,relatives and friends,
Just a few words to thank you all for your support and loving care...I had been feeling really good these last few days...my spirit was high..i was in a very happy mood...with lots of positive energy...
And i know that all this energy can only come from God...this illness is a pruning time for me...God wanted me back to Him...
Keep on praying...
Families, with young children specially, please say your rosary in family...
Couples please pray together..
Become aware of God's presence....He's here always..and He loves us so much.
If only we stop and count our blessings ....and thank Him..
I have my appointment with the oncologist tomorrow..will keep u informed.
Love u all, Nicole
Just a few words to thank you all for your support and loving care...I had been feeling really good these last few days...my spirit was high..i was in a very happy mood...with lots of positive energy...
And i know that all this energy can only come from God...this illness is a pruning time for me...God wanted me back to Him...
Keep on praying...
Families, with young children specially, please say your rosary in family...
Couples please pray together..
Become aware of God's presence....He's here always..and He loves us so much.
If only we stop and count our blessings ....and thank Him..
I have my appointment with the oncologist tomorrow..will keep u informed.
Love u all, Nicole
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Day 51 Singapore March 6, 2007 - 20.24hrs
It has been quite a while that we had a "normal" day. We went to the 6.30 am mass at Novena church. Then Nicole was able to prepare her own breakfast. She and Ivy went out with Anna to attend a prayer group followed by lunch.
I was able to go the gym, did work out and went to Funan centre to get some supplies for my printer. It is so encouraging to see Nicole active again. I do hope that the next medical check up will show that the chemo drugs have been very effective. I was able to do some work and catch up with some reading. If only we could get the good news that Nicole is healed!
I just cannot stop thinking from time to time that there are cancer cells in her body. Although I say to myself that we have to enjoy fully the present moment, I guess it is human to think that she has cancer. Life cannot be the same as before! It is not easy to adopt a new way of living. But when I look deeply at life, I recognize that life is full of uncertainty. But yet, I have difficulty accepting the uncertain future I am facing! This is where I have to have faith in God. In fact in Christ! He is the one who reveals himself through the Gospel. He has been a human being and my intellect tells me that I have to let go and trust him. But I have yet to experience this need to let go in my guts, I am still holding back. I have difficulty reciting the " traditional prayers" - words that people have already used. I feel more at ease using my own words. Am I not humble enough? Anyway this period of Lent is giving me the opportunity to re examine my relation with Jesus Christ. How do I relate to Him? The one thing I know is that I am not afraid of Him. I know he loves me - "intellectual insight" not emotional one. Has anyone experience the feeling of closeness with Christ? I guess there are persons who have had this emotional experience. Well I guess I am lucky that I am being prompted to search. We call this Grace. Thank you Lord! Walk with me and hold my hands through this journey.
" The Lord is my shepherd,
there is nothing I lack.
In green pastures you let me graze;
to safe waters you lead me;
you restore my strength.
You guide me along the right path
for the sake of your name.
Even when I walk through a dark valley,
I fear no harm for you are at my side;
your rod and staff give me courage." Psalm 23
How I wish i could have the faith of the writer of this Psalm!
Good night.
I was able to go the gym, did work out and went to Funan centre to get some supplies for my printer. It is so encouraging to see Nicole active again. I do hope that the next medical check up will show that the chemo drugs have been very effective. I was able to do some work and catch up with some reading. If only we could get the good news that Nicole is healed!
I just cannot stop thinking from time to time that there are cancer cells in her body. Although I say to myself that we have to enjoy fully the present moment, I guess it is human to think that she has cancer. Life cannot be the same as before! It is not easy to adopt a new way of living. But when I look deeply at life, I recognize that life is full of uncertainty. But yet, I have difficulty accepting the uncertain future I am facing! This is where I have to have faith in God. In fact in Christ! He is the one who reveals himself through the Gospel. He has been a human being and my intellect tells me that I have to let go and trust him. But I have yet to experience this need to let go in my guts, I am still holding back. I have difficulty reciting the " traditional prayers" - words that people have already used. I feel more at ease using my own words. Am I not humble enough? Anyway this period of Lent is giving me the opportunity to re examine my relation with Jesus Christ. How do I relate to Him? The one thing I know is that I am not afraid of Him. I know he loves me - "intellectual insight" not emotional one. Has anyone experience the feeling of closeness with Christ? I guess there are persons who have had this emotional experience. Well I guess I am lucky that I am being prompted to search. We call this Grace. Thank you Lord! Walk with me and hold my hands through this journey.
" The Lord is my shepherd,
there is nothing I lack.
In green pastures you let me graze;
to safe waters you lead me;
you restore my strength.
You guide me along the right path
for the sake of your name.
Even when I walk through a dark valley,
I fear no harm for you are at my side;
your rod and staff give me courage." Psalm 23
How I wish i could have the faith of the writer of this Psalm!
Good night.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Day 50 Singapore March 5, 2007 - 13.33 hrs
We had a very good morning starting with the 6.30 am mass at Novena. We then went for a walk in the Botanical Garden and lunch at the food court there. Picture taken at lunch.Nicole is eating well, a good sign that she is not feeling the side effects of the chemo drugs.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Singapore March 4, 2007 - 22.09 hrs
In the afternoon we had the joy of having the visit of Harold and Jacqueline, who just arrived from Mauritius.
Day 49 Singapore March 4, 2007 - 22.00 hrs
Another day with Nicole feeling much better. We enjoyed the gift of this day.
We went for a walk at the botanical garden.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Day 48 Singapore March 3, 2007 - 18.59 hrs
We woke up this morning welcoming this gift of a new day. We went to 7.00 am mass at Novena church. We then had a quiet morning with Nicole enjoying the feel good mood she is experiencing. We thank the Lord for His blessings.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Day 47 Singapore March 2, 2007 - 20.54 hrs
We had a good day. We went to mass at Novena at 12.15 hrs. Anna gave us a lift. After mass, we went out for lunch, which Nicole enjoyed very much. It is so nice to see Nicole eating with appetite. This is a sure sign that the side effects of the chemo drugs are decreasing.
Below is the English version of an email that Roby Bathfield sent us. The French version was already on this blog. The English version is the work of Huguette and Bobby, whom we thank very much.
With the permission of Roby, I am publishing here his email addressed to us.
My dear Nicole,
My dear Maurice,
I cannot find the words to express my gratitude for the really precious gift that you have bestowed upon us , by sharing with us what you are going through, day by day, thus getting us closer to you in thoughts and through our hearts. It is always with great feeling that I read your writings. It is marvellous that you have allowed us to share in your sufferings, your anguish, your apprehensions, your despairs…. and also in the journey that God has chosen for you, concerning the meaning of life, of your love, of prayers,
of suffering, of God.
While celebrating mass ( suggested by Henri Leong Son ) with the family the day before yesterday, I was very touched to know that there were so many people around you who love you, who care for you, even though, may be because of some sort of modesty, never knew how to express their immense affection for you.
Nicole et Maurice, we love you very very much: your sufferings, your anguish and your problems are also our sufferings, our anguish, and our problems. We wish to live them as much as possible in communion with you.
Thank you for letting us know that the painful events you are living, draw you closer to each other:
“We went for a walk in the botanical garden. There was plenty of sunshine and we took the opportunity to sit on a bench in the sun, just admiring nature and enjoying each other company... We went home for a quiet afternoon..
Maurice and I we are learning now to be fully present to each other...let's live the present the best we can...”
A couple life of deep sharing makes life so much more meaningful. (Nicole)
”We went by taxi to the botanical garden for a good walk. We then sat on a bench, keeping quiet. Nicole was in her own world, enjoying the garden with her head on my lap. I was sitting trying just to be, enjoying the present moment.”(Maurice).
“... a message that I want to give to you all...please live your couple life fully...Do not take couple life for granted...we are always rushing around doing things... Learn to really be present and loving to each other..”
Let me stop here...I guess I wanted so much to share this with you all..
Life is a gift. Enjoy the gift. ..(Nicole).
... “We then went for a walk at the Botanical Garden. We really enjoy the walk in the late afternoon. We sat on a bench, sharing with each other our feelings and enjoying the calmness of the garden while watching the evening setting in slowly.
We arranged with Pascal to come by our place and Pascal was already there, but we were still in the Garden like a young couple madly in love and not wanting to return home.... This gives us both the opportunity to be together, supporting each other and gives me the much needed time to be with Nicole. We are also finding that we are taking time to share our feelings. I am cherishing these moments of sharing and intimacy with Nicole.”(Maurice).
Thank you Nicolas, for telling us of his becoming more aware of his love for you:
“Mom and I had a good time quickly catching up and we were able to have a few laughs..” (Nicolas).
Thank you for sharing with us the questions you have been asking yourselves on God, on suffering and on the meaning of human life... I would have wished that I have all the answers to your questions, but unfortunately, I know some of my answers will be totally inadequate and I regret it very much. However, there are some convictions which I am certain of and I would like to share them with you.
Suffering and illness are not punishments from God.
Illness and suffering are the natural consequences of our human condition.
Nor are they, tests that God imposes on us. God the Father did not punish Jesus His son on the cross. He did not test Him either.
Jesus( God became man) dying on the cross, reveals to us, the true face of God:
Even when He is being assassinated, He keeps on loving, He forgives...
On the eve of His death, Jesus said to Philippe « Whoever has seen me, has seen the Father. Do you not believe, that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. »
Our God is FORGIVENESS.
Maurice, when you said that you were struck by the reading of the letter to the Corinthians in which St Paul described the caracteristics of love, in fact St Paul speaks of the love of God and he concludes by these words « Love never ends. »
Yes, the love of God is eternal, infinite, unconditional. And each one of us is His beloved child in whom He has put all His love, all His joy.
God loves us more than any father or mother can ever love his child
( more than the love you have for your three children or for your grand daughter )
All the joy of God, all His happiness, is the love that we have for Him... the greatest joy of God, is to live a true communion, a true intimacy with each of us...
It's fabulous.
God loves us so much that He wanted to rejoin us, He became man, He rejoins each man personally. He is within each of us. He is alive in everything that surrounds us. It is through them that He comes to us. It is through us that He goes to others.
(to St Paul, on the way to Damascus He said: « Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me..
I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. » In St Matthew, Jesus said: « I was hungry, you fed me. ») This is true for all human beings, but the more so for married couples. By the sacrament of matrimony, you have been consecrated to be, for each other, the presence of the infinite tenderness of God.
If God loves us so much, what does He do when we suffer?
1. He puts in our way, doctors, nurses, and every one who by their researches, have discovered new medications.
2. He is personally in us and, despite our fears, He gives us courage to face pain.
3. In prayers, He gives us moments of great peace.
Nicole, you wrote this morning:
“ luckily M. is there to pray with me. I feel so much better after we prayed. ”
4. Sometimes He gives us the opportunity to have a very special experience of His presence like the one you had yesterday, which you became aware of, by yourself, Nicole.
“Maurice and I we started praying to Jesus, Mary and Mere Augustine..after some time I found myself surrounded by an energy field. I don't know whether I'm using the right words but for me it was the divine energy field. It was a colored light and it was so peaceful and nice, and I only wanted to stay in it..
My arm felt like half numb and i could not feel the pain any more...
I guess I must have been in it for about an hour; and after I opened my eyes I felt so rested. And I told M. about it and I said to him: Jesus, Mary and Mere Augustine were really present, don’t U think so? I felt so touched by this experience. For me it was a definitely grace from God.”
Yes, Nicole, God was there. He is here and will always be.
And because God is God ( completely different from us) we have difficulty to express in our human words, the experiences (perceptible) that we made of His presence.
“ I don't know whether I'm using the right words but for me it was the divine energy field… The whole day today this experience kept coming to my mind...putting it on paper does not seem to express what I really experienced.”
This makes me think of what Jacob said in the book of Genese:
“ God was here and I did not know.”
Recently, I visited a sick person in a hospital, she was suffering a lot and she was also praying a lot. One night when the pain was really acute, she implored Jesus and Jesus came to her and took her in His arms for several hours...
She had the perceptible experience of the presence of God.
These “ perceptible experiences ” are like pilot lights ( small electrical bulbs with red lights ).When the red light is on, it indicates that there is electricity). Electricity is not only in the red light that is visible, but it is also in the electrical wire and it is not visible.
Jesus is here, even when we do not feel Him. God became man, to fully share in our human condition with its weaknesses.
He knows our fears and our anguishes: (Jesus began to feel distress and anguish)
(Mark 14,33)
He knew sadness: ( My soul is very sorrowful even to death) ( Matthew 26, 38 )
He knew our distress ( In great anguish he prayed even more fervently; his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground . ) ( Luke 22,44)
“ But Christ knowingly and voluntarily chose to be born in order to experience our human condition, i.e the limitation imposed by a physical body including experiencing pain and suffering, to save humanity. This realization hit me when I was listening to the preaching of our priest at the Sunday mass in New York during Christmas.” ( Maurice).
Nicole et Maurice, I stop here today.
Trust that I continue to think of you and, of course, to pray very hard for you.
I know that God takes care of you because He loves you,
He, who is Infinite Tenderness...
I warmly give both of you a big hug.
Roby.
2 February 2007.
Below is the English version of an email that Roby Bathfield sent us. The French version was already on this blog. The English version is the work of Huguette and Bobby, whom we thank very much.
With the permission of Roby, I am publishing here his email addressed to us.
My dear Nicole,
My dear Maurice,
I cannot find the words to express my gratitude for the really precious gift that you have bestowed upon us , by sharing with us what you are going through, day by day, thus getting us closer to you in thoughts and through our hearts. It is always with great feeling that I read your writings. It is marvellous that you have allowed us to share in your sufferings, your anguish, your apprehensions, your despairs…. and also in the journey that God has chosen for you, concerning the meaning of life, of your love, of prayers,
of suffering, of God.
While celebrating mass ( suggested by Henri Leong Son ) with the family the day before yesterday, I was very touched to know that there were so many people around you who love you, who care for you, even though, may be because of some sort of modesty, never knew how to express their immense affection for you.
Nicole et Maurice, we love you very very much: your sufferings, your anguish and your problems are also our sufferings, our anguish, and our problems. We wish to live them as much as possible in communion with you.
Thank you for letting us know that the painful events you are living, draw you closer to each other:
“We went for a walk in the botanical garden. There was plenty of sunshine and we took the opportunity to sit on a bench in the sun, just admiring nature and enjoying each other company... We went home for a quiet afternoon..
Maurice and I we are learning now to be fully present to each other...let's live the present the best we can...”
A couple life of deep sharing makes life so much more meaningful. (Nicole)
”We went by taxi to the botanical garden for a good walk. We then sat on a bench, keeping quiet. Nicole was in her own world, enjoying the garden with her head on my lap. I was sitting trying just to be, enjoying the present moment.”(Maurice).
“... a message that I want to give to you all...please live your couple life fully...Do not take couple life for granted...we are always rushing around doing things... Learn to really be present and loving to each other..”
Let me stop here...I guess I wanted so much to share this with you all..
Life is a gift. Enjoy the gift. ..(Nicole).
... “We then went for a walk at the Botanical Garden. We really enjoy the walk in the late afternoon. We sat on a bench, sharing with each other our feelings and enjoying the calmness of the garden while watching the evening setting in slowly.
We arranged with Pascal to come by our place and Pascal was already there, but we were still in the Garden like a young couple madly in love and not wanting to return home.... This gives us both the opportunity to be together, supporting each other and gives me the much needed time to be with Nicole. We are also finding that we are taking time to share our feelings. I am cherishing these moments of sharing and intimacy with Nicole.”(Maurice).
Thank you Nicolas, for telling us of his becoming more aware of his love for you:
“Mom and I had a good time quickly catching up and we were able to have a few laughs..” (Nicolas).
Thank you for sharing with us the questions you have been asking yourselves on God, on suffering and on the meaning of human life... I would have wished that I have all the answers to your questions, but unfortunately, I know some of my answers will be totally inadequate and I regret it very much. However, there are some convictions which I am certain of and I would like to share them with you.
Suffering and illness are not punishments from God.
Illness and suffering are the natural consequences of our human condition.
Nor are they, tests that God imposes on us. God the Father did not punish Jesus His son on the cross. He did not test Him either.
Jesus( God became man) dying on the cross, reveals to us, the true face of God:
Even when He is being assassinated, He keeps on loving, He forgives...
On the eve of His death, Jesus said to Philippe « Whoever has seen me, has seen the Father. Do you not believe, that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. »
Our God is FORGIVENESS.
Maurice, when you said that you were struck by the reading of the letter to the Corinthians in which St Paul described the caracteristics of love, in fact St Paul speaks of the love of God and he concludes by these words « Love never ends. »
Yes, the love of God is eternal, infinite, unconditional. And each one of us is His beloved child in whom He has put all His love, all His joy.
God loves us more than any father or mother can ever love his child
( more than the love you have for your three children or for your grand daughter )
All the joy of God, all His happiness, is the love that we have for Him... the greatest joy of God, is to live a true communion, a true intimacy with each of us...
It's fabulous.
God loves us so much that He wanted to rejoin us, He became man, He rejoins each man personally. He is within each of us. He is alive in everything that surrounds us. It is through them that He comes to us. It is through us that He goes to others.
(to St Paul, on the way to Damascus He said: « Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me..
I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. » In St Matthew, Jesus said: « I was hungry, you fed me. ») This is true for all human beings, but the more so for married couples. By the sacrament of matrimony, you have been consecrated to be, for each other, the presence of the infinite tenderness of God.
If God loves us so much, what does He do when we suffer?
1. He puts in our way, doctors, nurses, and every one who by their researches, have discovered new medications.
2. He is personally in us and, despite our fears, He gives us courage to face pain.
3. In prayers, He gives us moments of great peace.
Nicole, you wrote this morning:
“ luckily M. is there to pray with me. I feel so much better after we prayed. ”
4. Sometimes He gives us the opportunity to have a very special experience of His presence like the one you had yesterday, which you became aware of, by yourself, Nicole.
“Maurice and I we started praying to Jesus, Mary and Mere Augustine..after some time I found myself surrounded by an energy field. I don't know whether I'm using the right words but for me it was the divine energy field. It was a colored light and it was so peaceful and nice, and I only wanted to stay in it..
My arm felt like half numb and i could not feel the pain any more...
I guess I must have been in it for about an hour; and after I opened my eyes I felt so rested. And I told M. about it and I said to him: Jesus, Mary and Mere Augustine were really present, don’t U think so? I felt so touched by this experience. For me it was a definitely grace from God.”
Yes, Nicole, God was there. He is here and will always be.
And because God is God ( completely different from us) we have difficulty to express in our human words, the experiences (perceptible) that we made of His presence.
“ I don't know whether I'm using the right words but for me it was the divine energy field… The whole day today this experience kept coming to my mind...putting it on paper does not seem to express what I really experienced.”
This makes me think of what Jacob said in the book of Genese:
“ God was here and I did not know.”
Recently, I visited a sick person in a hospital, she was suffering a lot and she was also praying a lot. One night when the pain was really acute, she implored Jesus and Jesus came to her and took her in His arms for several hours...
She had the perceptible experience of the presence of God.
These “ perceptible experiences ” are like pilot lights ( small electrical bulbs with red lights ).When the red light is on, it indicates that there is electricity). Electricity is not only in the red light that is visible, but it is also in the electrical wire and it is not visible.
Jesus is here, even when we do not feel Him. God became man, to fully share in our human condition with its weaknesses.
He knows our fears and our anguishes: (Jesus began to feel distress and anguish)
(Mark 14,33)
He knew sadness: ( My soul is very sorrowful even to death) ( Matthew 26, 38 )
He knew our distress ( In great anguish he prayed even more fervently; his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground . ) ( Luke 22,44)
“ But Christ knowingly and voluntarily chose to be born in order to experience our human condition, i.e the limitation imposed by a physical body including experiencing pain and suffering, to save humanity. This realization hit me when I was listening to the preaching of our priest at the Sunday mass in New York during Christmas.” ( Maurice).
Nicole et Maurice, I stop here today.
Trust that I continue to think of you and, of course, to pray very hard for you.
I know that God takes care of you because He loves you,
He, who is Infinite Tenderness...
I warmly give both of you a big hug.
Roby.
2 February 2007.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Day 45 Singapore march 1, 2007 - 14.23 hrs
Already the first day of March. Nicole is feeling much better. The side effects of the chemo drugs are less debilitating. She still feels tired but she is eating well, which is important.
I have been doing the cooking and appear to have found her favorite dish: Mauritian curry in coconut paste with vegetables like long beans, lalo and lettuce.
Her sister, Ivy, is arriving soon.
I have been doing the cooking and appear to have found her favorite dish: Mauritian curry in coconut paste with vegetables like long beans, lalo and lettuce.
Her sister, Ivy, is arriving soon.
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