Day 2439 Seattle Dec 26, 2010 - 9.39 hrs

We had a great Christmas with Nicolas and family, Bert and Greg. Nicole is enjoying the grand daughters. With the snow storm in New York, we are staying until Monday Dec 27 as our flights are cancelled. Another extra day with Nicolas and family. Great. Praise the Lord and let us be thankful.

Day 2425 New York Dec 12, 2010 - 17.11Hrs

We are in New York since Nov 16. Nicole is feeling well and we are both enjoying the stay with Bertrand. Gregory joined on Nov 30.
We shall be go to Seattle tomorrow to spend some time with Nicolas's family and see our second grand daughter.

Day 2367 Singapore 15 Oct, 2010 - 22.53 hrs

Nicole is getting better and better. Doctors removed all intravenous feeds, which means she can move around freely. She is now on liquid food. Pain management is now with tablet painkillers instead of intravenous drips. To strengthen her lungs, Nicole sang a little. Great to hear her sing.
I am reading the book: Buddha's Brain - the practical neuroscience of happiness, love and wisdom by Rick Hanson with Richard Mendius. Very good book that tells about the benfit of contemplative practice. It gives a series of contemplative practices and mindfulness. A must read if you want to " learn how to activate the brain states of calm, joy and compassion".
Another day ends. Praise to God.

Day 2365 Singapore Oct 14, 2010 23.10 hrs

Another day for Nicole in the hospital. She is getting better but she is also getting tired being in a hospital room. She started walking, which was a good sign. She got a phone call from two of her sisters from Mauritius.
We are so grateful for the good medical care, support from relatives and friends. We know we can count on their prayers. We have the feeling of contentment.
Time to call it a day. Praise God.

Day 2365 Singapore Oct 13, 2010 - 17.56 hrs

Nicole underwent emergency surgery last Saturday evening. According to Dr Ngoi, she had her small intestines entangled and he had to remove part of it. The surgery was timely . Any delay could have been fatal.
Lesson learned: be careful to chew well any food and if feeling acute abdominal pain, consult a doctor immediately. For Nicole: call Dr Ngoi. We thank God for this positive outcome. There was no panic. I brought Nicole to A&E of Gleneagles after talking to Dr Ngoi. And the rest is history.
Nicole is recovering well.

Day 2311 Singapore August 20, 2010 - 21.03 hrs

It has been one month and 2 days since Nicole had surgery. She is recovering well. Last Wednesday, she had a follow up of the surgery and a last post surgery procedure. The last blood test results show that all tumor markers are within normal range. She will now undergo further chemo therapy, another three cycles, starting on Monday August 23. Slowly Nicole is getting back into Dr Gonzalez protocol.

We thank you all for your prayers and support during these last 32 days. Praise God. Another day ends.

Day 2293 Singapore Aug 2, 2010 - 20.32 hrs

Nicole saw the surgeon today. Dr Ngoi is satisfied with the progress of Nicole. Nicole is having a blood test on Saturday and we shall see Dr Karmen Wong on Aug 11 to see if Nicole will need chemo. Dr Ngoi is strongly recommending that Nicole starts a chemo treatment as early as possible.

Well we are happy of the progress so far and we are so grateful.

We thank God and all of you who are praying for us.

Another day ends.

Day 2286 Singapore July 26, 2010 - 13.50 hrs

Nicole just returned home 30 minutes ago. She is enjoying home sweet home. Praise to God for all blessings.

Day 2284 Singapore July 24, 2010 - 20.37 hrs

Nicole is getting better. The doctor has allowed her to take soft solid food as from tomorrow, which is a good sign.

She has been receiving visits. We look forward to see her returning home on Monday.

Tomorrow will be a week since her surgery. She has asked Maud's husband to bring Holy Communion to her Sunday tomorrow.

Another day ends. We praise and thank God for all His blessings.

Day 2281 Singapore July 20, 2010 - 22.41 hrs

Nicole was able to move out of the ICU to a normal room this afternoon. She also got her first meal - a clear soup - since surgery. She was happy to move out of ICU as she now can have some of her familiar objects like rosary, mobile phone, books and listen to music.

Both Dr Ngoi and Dr Karmen Wong visited her this afternoon and are satisfied with the pace of her recovery.

However, I notice that her recovery is slower than after her first surgery two years ago. Nicole also made this remark to me.

We are both happy that she is recovering well and look forward to better days.

We praise and thank God. Thank you to all of you for your prayers and support.

Day 2281 Singapore July 20, 2010 - 11.57 hrs

I was at the hospital this morning. Nicole had a good night sleep. She is recovering well but still weak. She cannot talk for too long. So I left her to get some rest. Doctors mentioned that she might be released from ICU today. We shall know by this afternoon.

Day 2280 Singapore July 19, 2010 - 12.41hrs

I visited Nicole this morning. She has had a good rest last night.

I met Dr Ngoi, the surgeon, who said that she is doing well. She is now being fed intravenously which would allow her to gain some strength. Dr Ngoi recommended that Nicole spends another day in the ICU unit.

Singapore 18.16 hrs

I am back home.

Nicole was having a lot of pain but the nurses are going to administer more pain killers as she is no longer on ventilator. She started to breathe normally but was still groggy when I left her.

Another day ends. Give praise to the Lord.

Singapore 16.41 hrs

Nicole is now in the ICU section.

Surgery was completed by 15.15 hrs. I spoke to the surgeon, Dr Ngoi, who reassured that he was able to remove what needed to be removed. The anesthetist has put Nicole on a ventilator to help her breathing for some time. Nicole was in pain when she woke up, but the anesthetist wanted to wait until she can breathe properly on her own to administer more pain killer drugs.

The nurse has asked me to wait in the visitors' lounge until Nicole is off the ventilator. I hope I shall not have to wait for long.

It is indeed amazing to see how the body heals itself. Dr Ngoi said that we now have to wait for the body to heal. This is indeed one of God's mystery. What is it in our body that it heals by itself. God created the human body in such a way that it contains its own self healing power.

Also thanks to technology, I am able to write and post this blog on my laptop and connected to the Internet with my mobile phone.

Singapore 14.24 hrs

Dr Ngoi just came out of the operating room to inform me that the surgery went well. It was an extensive surgery as the tumor was stuck to the lower abdomen. He gave the good news that he was able to remove what needed to be removed.

It will take another half hour before Nicole will come out of the operating room to be transferred to the Intensive Care Unit.

13.30 hrs

The anesthetist just came out of the operating room to inform that the surgeon has removed the tumor and that the surgery went well. The surgery is 2/3 done. Both Greg and I are very happy with this news. Praise the Lord and we thank all of you for your prayers.

11.24 am

I am told that surgery just started.

July 18, 2010 - 11.14 am

I met Dr Ngoi at 10.16 am on his way to the operating room.

Now waiting here outside the operating section, praying that surgery is going well.

July 18, 2010 - 9.27 am

Nicole just entered the operating room. Before, Nicole met the anesthetist, Dr Boey, and the nurse in charge of post surgery pain management.

Day 2279 Singapore July 18, 2010 - 8.16 am

Nicole checked into Gleneagles Hospital this morning. She is now waiting for the doctors to arrive.

NIce time around the dinner table

We had the joy of sharing a nice meal with relatives from Canada and Mauritius.

Day 2278 Singapore July 17, 2010 - 10.38hrs

Nicole will undergo surgery tomorrow Sunday July 18 in the morning.

The latest CT scan reveals that there is a 13 cm cyst located in the lower abdomen that needs to be removed. According to Dr Ngoi, the surgeon, it will be an extensive surgery. Surgery will start at 10.00 am.

We pray that the surgery will be a success. We put our trust in God.

Day 2245 Singapore June 14, 2010 - 20.59 hrs

After a terrible period of side effects, Nicole felt better and could enjoy this last week. Chemo was postponed to today as I was traveling to Mauritius.

Today we got the blood test results - We are so grateful to God - the CA markers are down.

CA 15.3 is down from 76 to 39.2, normal is under 25

CA 19.9 down from 41 to 32.0 normal is under 39, so it is now within normal range

CA 125 from 78.9 down to 28.9 normal is below 35 so this is also within normal reading.

Dr karmen Wong recommended another chemo round which Nicole did today. Dr Wong is also suggesting that we space the chemo session at four weeks interval instead of three. She is of opinion that it would not be worth it to have surgery. She would like to get Dr Ngoi opinion after the fourth chemo session and a CT scan. This will be in mid July.

We are all very happy with the progress so far and can only be thankful to all of you for your prayers and support. God has again blessed us, having heard His servants.

Day 2224 Singapore May 24, 2010 - 23.33 hrs

Nicole is feeling better today. She has been with a nasty flu - temperature up to 39 degree celsius and coughing a lot. She later developed a sore throat. We contacted Dr Wong who prescribed an antibiotic and today Nicole consulted Dr Wong as she was still having a sore throat. Dr Wong prescribed medication for coughing and sore throat.

I hope she will have a better night.

Her cousin who is in treatment in Singapore had a first chemo session last Wednesday. He is still feeling the side effects. Hopefully the situation will improve and he will regain his appetite. More important we pray that the chemo destroys the cancer cells.

We have started to have a mixture of raw fruits, blended together, taken between meals. This is a protocol used by someone who apparently has been able to cure himself from cancer. Nicole is also taking more juices of carrot and apple for detox.

We continue to pray, thanking God every day for the gift of life. We are grateful for such a gift.

Another day ends.

Day 2216 Singapore May 16, 2010 - 23.33

The side effects of chemo drugs can be debilitating. Since yesterday, Nicole has been feeling their effects. No appetite and although she makes an effort to eat, the food is tasteless. She was also feeling tired and depressed.

We hope these side effects will diminish soon. Based on the first cycle, it will take at least until Tuesday for her to feel a little better. The good news is that she can feel that the size of the tumor is smaller. This is the encouraging news and keeps her motivated.

We stayed home today with Nicole trying to rest. Most probably she will stay home tomorrow too.

Nicole is trying to follow a diet according to a certain Dr Tom Wu. It is based on taking fresh fruits and vegetables that have been broken down in a blender into a smooth paste. Apparently Dr Wu was found with lung cancer but he followed a diet that he invented and has been able to survive his illness.

Being ill with cancer is not easy. One always live with the fear that one has not much time to live, as most conventional doctors treat cancer as a terminal illness. These doctors give chemo as a palliative, just to buy some time for the patient. We have learned and continue to learn that we have to manage this disease in an unconventional way, use conventional therapy when absolutely needed like now to treat the tumor, but use supplement methods like enzyme therapy, vitamin C, juicing, detox, eating live food and avoiding meat, diary products and sugar. But most important is the spiritual, Believing in God's creation - the ability of the body to heal itself. God has created man with a healthy body and the necessary ability to heal itself. We need to have trust in God and in the body's ability to heal itself.

Another day ends. We are thankful to God for His gift of life.

Day 2213 Singapore May 13, 2010 - 17.55 hrs

Nicole had her blood test results today before having the second chemo treatment.

The treatment is producing positive results. The cancer markers are down:

CA 15.3 from 147 to 76.2

CA 19.9 from 102 to 41.1

CA 125 from 669 to 78.9

Both Dr Karmen Wong and us praised God for this terrific result. Dr Karmen Wong mentioned that it is a miracle that Nicole is able to live life so fully. I guess she wrote her off more than 2 years ago. This shows that doctors do not know the work of God. Only God knows when a person's time is over on this earth and the time has come to go back to the Creator.

We continue to pray for God's blessings and we are so grateful to Him for being alive and have so much love from so many persons. We ask for prayers for Nicole, the Indian couple that we met and for the cousin of Nicole.

Day 1199 Singapore April 29, 2010 - 20.02 hrs

Nicole has been feeling much better since yesterday. Today she went for a blood test in the morning and then visited the woman from India who is still at Gleneagles. She met with someone, a yoga teacher, who was visiting the same person and the yoga teacher introduced some breathing methods to Nicole.

Nicole went for a walk in the Botanical Garden in the afternoon while I did some food shopping at Eat Organic on Bukit Timah.

Tomorrow she will have the blood test result. We hope that both red and white cells counts will be ok. Meanwhile she is having some beet root in her daily fresh juice drinks which is good for red cells.

We continue to live one day at a time. Another day ends. Thank the Lord for His blessings.

Day 1197 Singapore April 27, 2010 - 20.21 hrs

Nicole is feeling much better. The side effects have diminished. We went for a walk in the Botanical Garden and then went out for lunch. She had some appetite. In the afternoon, following a nap, we went by Dr Wong's office to get some medication against nausea. Nicole visited a woman who is at the Gleneagles Hospital. She is from India and the husband has just been transferred to Singapore, She underwent a third surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. This was her second surgery in 3 months. Dr Ngoi did the surgery. Dr Karmen Wong asked us to provide some support to this couple. The woman is so young - 36 years old. Please pray for them.

Nicole is so nice, willing to provide support, given her conditions. We thank God for all the blessings today. We are so lucky to have so much support from all of you, relatives and friends. Nicole received many encouraging emails today and I received supportive emails from friends also. Thank you for your kind love and the love of God that you give us through you. Another day ends peacefully.

Day 1196 Singapore april 26, 2010 - 22.00 hrs

Nicole is finding chemo more difficult to bear this time. She is feeling weak, finds food tasteless, has nausea and feels depressed at times. All these are the side effects.

We went to mass this morning as we keep our faith in God during this difficult time. Prayers do help. Phone calls and emails from her sisters are also helping Nicole.

Fortunately we have Greg with us who has been of a great help.

Day 1194 Singapore April 24, 2010 - 5.58 hrs

Nicole had chemo on Thursday April 22. The drugs used are carboplatin, caelyx and avastin, the last two being new drugs that Nicole is having.

She started chemo as the Dr Ngoi believes that surgery would need to be quite extensive, involving the removal of a large section of the colon. She would end up wearing a bag to allow the content of the bowel to exit from the body. Dr Ngoi recommended we try chemo first as surgery is irreversible.

After a long discussion with Dr Karmen Wong, we decided for chemo. On the day of the chemo, Dr Wong informed that, after much prayer, she has been inspired to administer Caelyx instead of taxol. This requires one dose per every three weeks and would have less side effects than taxol. Dr Wong gave her much time, explaining that God does not want us to suffer. She mentioned that ultimately we all shall return back to God our Father. We need not be afraid when our time comes. However, she feels that there is no need for suffering to die. This is indeed a mystery of life. However, God is with us during the time of suffering. Dr Wong prayed with us before Nicole started her chemo.

We considered it a set back that Dr Ngoi could not operate to remove the tumor. It looks like the tumor is in a more dangerous position and is more extensive that we thought.

Of course Nicole is extremely concerned and worried. She realizes that it is becoming more difficult to treat the disease. She is afraid that time is running out.

It has been now three years and four months since Nicole was found ill with cancer. It has been a long and difficult journey, but rich with love and blessings. We have become more appreciative of life, we have seen expression of love by so many persons, and it is as if God is preparing us to detach ourselves from the trappings of this material world. We are from God and we shall return to God. Our spirit is eternal. The body is just a temporary physical medium where our spirit resides for a limited period. Once we become fully cognizant of this reality, then death - the separation of the physical and the spiritual - is no longer seen as terrible and sad event. It is an inevitable but liberating event of one's existence.

We continue to pray and count on your prayers - that God helps us to go through this stage of our life journey with serenity knowing that God is always with us.

Day 1189 Mauritius April 19, 2010 19.23 hrs

Late Saturday evening, I managed to speak to Dr Ngoi who informed that he will be able to do the surgery to remove the tumor. He added that he wanted to consult another doctor to discuss Nicole's situation.

Yesterday we attended mass in memory of Patricia, my sister. We then went the Convent of Bon et Perpetuel Secours at Edith Cavell street, Port Louis to ask for the intercession of Mere Augustine, founder of the Congregation. In the evening we consulted Dr Chitson who prescribed some tablets to alleviate the pain that Nicole was experiencing.

Today I managed to talk to Dr Ngoi. He confirmed that surgery is possible. We are leaving for Singapore on April 20 evening to arrive there on Wednesday April 21 at around 11.00 am. From the airport, we are going directly to Dr Ngoi clinic at Gleneagles hospital.

So far we are getting positive news and favorable events are happening. Praise the Lord.

Day 1187 -Mauritius April 17, 2010 - 15.49 hrs

Nicole felt a lump in her lower abdomen a few days ago. She did not pay much attention to it as we were all taking care of Patricia, my younger sister. I suggested to Nicole that we investigate the nature of this lump. So she had an ultrasound done on the recommendation of Dr Chitson. She did this at Apollo Hospital, a new one in Mauritius. The ultrasound revealed a cystic mass of about 10 cm. We immediately asked for a CA 125 test to be done. This was on April 13. We got the result on April 14 with a reading of 719, way above the last reading done at the end of January. After consulting her oncologist, Dr Karmen Wong, we had a full body CT scan done at Apollo on April 15. The scan shows a large mass in her lower abdomen. Of course we by then got very worried. We consulted the surgeon, Dr SS Ngoi who agreed with Dr Karmen Wong that there is a need to remove this mass by surgery, provided this is possible. I sent a copy of the CT scan film, on a DVD disc, via a relative who was traveling to Singapore on Friday 16 evening.

The DVD is now in Singapore waiting to be delivered to Dr SS Ngoi for him to assess if surgery can be done.

Meanwhile, Nicole and I are both worried, Nicole's is now thinking of worst case scenario. I hope to be able to talk to Dr Ngoi over the week end. We are planning to travel back to Singapore on Tuesday April 20 evening flight if surgery can be done. However, Dr Ngoi is traveling as from April 23 and it is unlikely that he will be doing the surgery, unless this can wait until his return on May 8.

We pray God that He guides us through this. He has been kind to us and has always been with us.

Day 1178 -Mauritius April 9, 2010 - 14.11 hrs

My younger sister, Patricia, left us peacefully surrounded by her family and Florise, my elder sister, at 4.30 am on April 8.

After a long and courageous battle against cancer that lasted six years, Patricia's spirit decided to leave her weak physical body to be freed so as to realize her full potential as this unique person created by God and from God to be part of God.

We celebrated the live of Patricia at Cathedral St Louis this morning and said goodbye to her. This music was heard at the end of the ceremony.

Day 1173 - Mauritius April 4, 2010 - 16.50 hrs

Easter - Christ has risen from the dead in all His Glory.

We are in Mauritius.

My sister, Patricia, appears to be living her final days. She was found ill with cancer some six years ago. After some years of living a normal life, the cancer started to spread since last year. Since we arrived in Mauritius, just before the Chinese new year, her conditions have been deteriorating.

Of course this development has an effect on Nicole. Nicole has been visiting Patricia every week.

It requires a lot of faith in God to accept life events as they occur. To see Patricia in such suffering is not easy.

I keep telling Nicole to trust God, to trust the Lord, that HE is with us.

I ask you reading this blog to pray for Patricia - that she finds peace and love in God and when her time come to leave us, that the Lord welcomes her in His kingdom as he promised the one who was crucified along His side.

Easter is a time of rejoicing as the Lord has overcome death.

Day 1113 Singapore February 3, 2010 - 23.46 hrs

Nicole has stopped her chemo treatment after the 3rd cycle as there was no significant decrease in the tumor markers. CA 125 was still above the normal reading. The chemo has diminished her blood cell counts - both white and red cells. We decided that it would be better to stop the chemo treatment so that Nicole can rebuild her immune system. Dr Karmen Wong wanted another chemo cycle but she respected Nicole's decision.
We plan to travel to Mauritius on Feb 10 so that we can celebrate Chinese New Year with our relatives and friends there. It would be a good break from all the medical activities of these past 9 -10 weeks. These have not been easy as chemo has always a debilating effect on the person receiving the treatment.
We continue to have faith in God. He knows what is best for us. It is becoming increasingly important for us to appreciate the gift of life - every day counts, every hour counts and indeed living every single second in the now counts. Living the present moment of life fully is what God is calling us to do.
Another day ends.

Day 1080 Singapore January 1, 2010 - 22.07 hrs

First day of the year. A quiet day, enjoying life. Thank you God for all Your Blessing.