Day 2224 Singapore May 24, 2010 - 23.33 hrs

Nicole is feeling better today. She has been with a nasty flu - temperature up to 39 degree celsius and coughing a lot. She later developed a sore throat. We contacted Dr Wong who prescribed an antibiotic and today Nicole consulted Dr Wong as she was still having a sore throat. Dr Wong prescribed medication for coughing and sore throat.

I hope she will have a better night.

Her cousin who is in treatment in Singapore had a first chemo session last Wednesday. He is still feeling the side effects. Hopefully the situation will improve and he will regain his appetite. More important we pray that the chemo destroys the cancer cells.

We have started to have a mixture of raw fruits, blended together, taken between meals. This is a protocol used by someone who apparently has been able to cure himself from cancer. Nicole is also taking more juices of carrot and apple for detox.

We continue to pray, thanking God every day for the gift of life. We are grateful for such a gift.

Another day ends.

Day 2216 Singapore May 16, 2010 - 23.33

The side effects of chemo drugs can be debilitating. Since yesterday, Nicole has been feeling their effects. No appetite and although she makes an effort to eat, the food is tasteless. She was also feeling tired and depressed.

We hope these side effects will diminish soon. Based on the first cycle, it will take at least until Tuesday for her to feel a little better. The good news is that she can feel that the size of the tumor is smaller. This is the encouraging news and keeps her motivated.

We stayed home today with Nicole trying to rest. Most probably she will stay home tomorrow too.

Nicole is trying to follow a diet according to a certain Dr Tom Wu. It is based on taking fresh fruits and vegetables that have been broken down in a blender into a smooth paste. Apparently Dr Wu was found with lung cancer but he followed a diet that he invented and has been able to survive his illness.

Being ill with cancer is not easy. One always live with the fear that one has not much time to live, as most conventional doctors treat cancer as a terminal illness. These doctors give chemo as a palliative, just to buy some time for the patient. We have learned and continue to learn that we have to manage this disease in an unconventional way, use conventional therapy when absolutely needed like now to treat the tumor, but use supplement methods like enzyme therapy, vitamin C, juicing, detox, eating live food and avoiding meat, diary products and sugar. But most important is the spiritual, Believing in God's creation - the ability of the body to heal itself. God has created man with a healthy body and the necessary ability to heal itself. We need to have trust in God and in the body's ability to heal itself.

Another day ends. We are thankful to God for His gift of life.

Day 2213 Singapore May 13, 2010 - 17.55 hrs

Nicole had her blood test results today before having the second chemo treatment.

The treatment is producing positive results. The cancer markers are down:

CA 15.3 from 147 to 76.2

CA 19.9 from 102 to 41.1

CA 125 from 669 to 78.9

Both Dr Karmen Wong and us praised God for this terrific result. Dr Karmen Wong mentioned that it is a miracle that Nicole is able to live life so fully. I guess she wrote her off more than 2 years ago. This shows that doctors do not know the work of God. Only God knows when a person's time is over on this earth and the time has come to go back to the Creator.

We continue to pray for God's blessings and we are so grateful to Him for being alive and have so much love from so many persons. We ask for prayers for Nicole, the Indian couple that we met and for the cousin of Nicole.

Day 1199 Singapore April 29, 2010 - 20.02 hrs

Nicole has been feeling much better since yesterday. Today she went for a blood test in the morning and then visited the woman from India who is still at Gleneagles. She met with someone, a yoga teacher, who was visiting the same person and the yoga teacher introduced some breathing methods to Nicole.

Nicole went for a walk in the Botanical Garden in the afternoon while I did some food shopping at Eat Organic on Bukit Timah.

Tomorrow she will have the blood test result. We hope that both red and white cells counts will be ok. Meanwhile she is having some beet root in her daily fresh juice drinks which is good for red cells.

We continue to live one day at a time. Another day ends. Thank the Lord for His blessings.

Day 1197 Singapore April 27, 2010 - 20.21 hrs

Nicole is feeling much better. The side effects have diminished. We went for a walk in the Botanical Garden and then went out for lunch. She had some appetite. In the afternoon, following a nap, we went by Dr Wong's office to get some medication against nausea. Nicole visited a woman who is at the Gleneagles Hospital. She is from India and the husband has just been transferred to Singapore, She underwent a third surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. This was her second surgery in 3 months. Dr Ngoi did the surgery. Dr Karmen Wong asked us to provide some support to this couple. The woman is so young - 36 years old. Please pray for them.

Nicole is so nice, willing to provide support, given her conditions. We thank God for all the blessings today. We are so lucky to have so much support from all of you, relatives and friends. Nicole received many encouraging emails today and I received supportive emails from friends also. Thank you for your kind love and the love of God that you give us through you. Another day ends peacefully.

Day 1196 Singapore april 26, 2010 - 22.00 hrs

Nicole is finding chemo more difficult to bear this time. She is feeling weak, finds food tasteless, has nausea and feels depressed at times. All these are the side effects.

We went to mass this morning as we keep our faith in God during this difficult time. Prayers do help. Phone calls and emails from her sisters are also helping Nicole.

Fortunately we have Greg with us who has been of a great help.

Day 1194 Singapore April 24, 2010 - 5.58 hrs

Nicole had chemo on Thursday April 22. The drugs used are carboplatin, caelyx and avastin, the last two being new drugs that Nicole is having.

She started chemo as the Dr Ngoi believes that surgery would need to be quite extensive, involving the removal of a large section of the colon. She would end up wearing a bag to allow the content of the bowel to exit from the body. Dr Ngoi recommended we try chemo first as surgery is irreversible.

After a long discussion with Dr Karmen Wong, we decided for chemo. On the day of the chemo, Dr Wong informed that, after much prayer, she has been inspired to administer Caelyx instead of taxol. This requires one dose per every three weeks and would have less side effects than taxol. Dr Wong gave her much time, explaining that God does not want us to suffer. She mentioned that ultimately we all shall return back to God our Father. We need not be afraid when our time comes. However, she feels that there is no need for suffering to die. This is indeed a mystery of life. However, God is with us during the time of suffering. Dr Wong prayed with us before Nicole started her chemo.

We considered it a set back that Dr Ngoi could not operate to remove the tumor. It looks like the tumor is in a more dangerous position and is more extensive that we thought.

Of course Nicole is extremely concerned and worried. She realizes that it is becoming more difficult to treat the disease. She is afraid that time is running out.

It has been now three years and four months since Nicole was found ill with cancer. It has been a long and difficult journey, but rich with love and blessings. We have become more appreciative of life, we have seen expression of love by so many persons, and it is as if God is preparing us to detach ourselves from the trappings of this material world. We are from God and we shall return to God. Our spirit is eternal. The body is just a temporary physical medium where our spirit resides for a limited period. Once we become fully cognizant of this reality, then death - the separation of the physical and the spiritual - is no longer seen as terrible and sad event. It is an inevitable but liberating event of one's existence.

We continue to pray and count on your prayers - that God helps us to go through this stage of our life journey with serenity knowing that God is always with us.