You have read Nicole's posting.
Nothing to add. Another day ends.
Thank you God for this day.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
7p.m. Singapore Tuesday Feb. 27
My dearest friends, family and relatives,
The day is gone mostly...what a day! At 2p.m. i went for a colon hydrotherapy...oh what a relief! I guess my body was able to be cleared of lots of dead cells and toxins produced by the chemo drugs...and i feel so much better.
Maurice and I and Bert we went for a short walk in the botannical gardens to be exposed to some fresh air,nature, and quietude.
Tks a lot for all your prayers and also for the Holy Spirit who guided me to go for that hydroptherapy session today ...this is something that could be started in Mtius...one day..and could be of so much help to the chemo patients.
Only people who have undergone chemo can understand the fatigue, the ill feelings, the depression, the discouragement that u can feel during these times.. in fact our bodies are being bombarded by so much drugs, which kill the cancer cells but also all our good cells unfortunately..
.i wish people would be more educated to eat more healthily in order to avoid our bodies to become acidic and be prone to diseases...Lots to learn...
I must thank God for all the blessings that He's giving us and also specially for all the love, affection , warmth, support and prayers that we are receiving from you all...
God is good...I must trust that He is taking care of me and M. in His own way and things will be wonderful in His time...
Love u all, Nicole
The day is gone mostly...what a day! At 2p.m. i went for a colon hydrotherapy...oh what a relief! I guess my body was able to be cleared of lots of dead cells and toxins produced by the chemo drugs...and i feel so much better.
Maurice and I and Bert we went for a short walk in the botannical gardens to be exposed to some fresh air,nature, and quietude.
Tks a lot for all your prayers and also for the Holy Spirit who guided me to go for that hydroptherapy session today ...this is something that could be started in Mtius...one day..and could be of so much help to the chemo patients.
Only people who have undergone chemo can understand the fatigue, the ill feelings, the depression, the discouragement that u can feel during these times.. in fact our bodies are being bombarded by so much drugs, which kill the cancer cells but also all our good cells unfortunately..
.i wish people would be more educated to eat more healthily in order to avoid our bodies to become acidic and be prone to diseases...Lots to learn...
I must thank God for all the blessings that He's giving us and also specially for all the love, affection , warmth, support and prayers that we are receiving from you all...
God is good...I must trust that He is taking care of me and M. in His own way and things will be wonderful in His time...
Love u all, Nicole
Tuesday 27th Feb, Singapore
Dear relatives, friends and family,
Tks again for your support and your prayers...Since my 3rd and 4th chemo sessions the side effects had not been easy...
Please pray for my inner peace specially...I don't know what God reserves for me..i wish I could be given some more time to live so that i can help other cancer patients, may be open a centre in Mtius for cancer patients , to educate others about nutrition, to supply them with supplements during the chemo treatments etc.etc....whatever i've learned since i'm sick., whatever help i can ..to give it to others.
Lately i've been struggling what to do with my life, now that the children have got their own lives...i seem to think that may be God is giving me an answer to my question through this illness.
But i guess only God knows His plan for me...I can only offer myself to Him everyday but ....i can share with you that this can become so hard sometimes....
Jesus had still been showing His love and care for me...during the last chemo session.. i was very weak and felt totally knocked out..i was half asleep the first 2 hours and i woke up with the image of Jesus carrying me as a little child on his back..i laughed at myself when i saw that image...and I said thank you Jesus.
Mary dressed in a beige attire wanted me to make her known to others..since I'm sick i've learned to pray to Mary ...something that i never knew before..i've been praying to her so that she can intercede near her son for my healing...She cares for us and loves us all, if only we can go to her...she'll bring us to her son...
I had a bad night...slept only 4 hours...pray so that i have a bettter day, in the presence of the Lord.
Keep praying for me...
Love u all, Nicole
Tks again for your support and your prayers...Since my 3rd and 4th chemo sessions the side effects had not been easy...
Please pray for my inner peace specially...I don't know what God reserves for me..i wish I could be given some more time to live so that i can help other cancer patients, may be open a centre in Mtius for cancer patients , to educate others about nutrition, to supply them with supplements during the chemo treatments etc.etc....whatever i've learned since i'm sick., whatever help i can ..to give it to others.
Lately i've been struggling what to do with my life, now that the children have got their own lives...i seem to think that may be God is giving me an answer to my question through this illness.
But i guess only God knows His plan for me...I can only offer myself to Him everyday but ....i can share with you that this can become so hard sometimes....
Jesus had still been showing His love and care for me...during the last chemo session.. i was very weak and felt totally knocked out..i was half asleep the first 2 hours and i woke up with the image of Jesus carrying me as a little child on his back..i laughed at myself when i saw that image...and I said thank you Jesus.
Mary dressed in a beige attire wanted me to make her known to others..since I'm sick i've learned to pray to Mary ...something that i never knew before..i've been praying to her so that she can intercede near her son for my healing...She cares for us and loves us all, if only we can go to her...she'll bring us to her son...
I had a bad night...slept only 4 hours...pray so that i have a bettter day, in the presence of the Lord.
Keep praying for me...
Love u all, Nicole
Monday, February 26, 2007
Day 42 Singapore Feb 26, 2007 - 22.40 hrs
Since yesterday afternoon, Nicole has not been feeling well.
Today has been a painful day for her.
I have been overwhelmed by what she is going through right now. Here is an extract of an email I wrote to one of my very good friend:
"Living what Nicole is experiencing certainly helps me to understand that it must have been very difficult for Joe and his wife to live through this period of their life.
While I deeply wish that a miracle does happen in Nicole's case, I see her illness as a blessing in that it allows us to prepare ourselves for what we all are destined: to die so that our spirit is freed of its physical limitation of our body to be fully in the presence of God.
Having said this, our human condition does challenge us as we have a physical body and a human mind and psyche.
Nicole suffers tremendously, physically - she is so weak that she has no desire to do anything, mentally - "I cannot continue to endure all these pains and psychologically - what if I do not get cured, then I prefer to die early so that I suffer less than to drag on living and suffer". This is our daily challenge. As her husband and life partner, I have always viewed my role as safeguarding her from physical suffering and hardship, ensuring that she enjoys an environment where she feels secure of her future and there was no need to worry of what will happen to her. This model is no longer valid -it is obsolete. I have difficulty finding a new operational model.
Yes I do put my trust in God. I try to let go. But this is not my life. It is not I who is undergoing all this pain. It is not I who is fighting for survival. However, the irony could be that I die before her!
I am taking one day at a time."
May God bless you who reads this blog. Good night.
Today has been a painful day for her.
I have been overwhelmed by what she is going through right now. Here is an extract of an email I wrote to one of my very good friend:
"Living what Nicole is experiencing certainly helps me to understand that it must have been very difficult for Joe and his wife to live through this period of their life.
While I deeply wish that a miracle does happen in Nicole's case, I see her illness as a blessing in that it allows us to prepare ourselves for what we all are destined: to die so that our spirit is freed of its physical limitation of our body to be fully in the presence of God.
Having said this, our human condition does challenge us as we have a physical body and a human mind and psyche.
Nicole suffers tremendously, physically - she is so weak that she has no desire to do anything, mentally - "I cannot continue to endure all these pains and psychologically - what if I do not get cured, then I prefer to die early so that I suffer less than to drag on living and suffer". This is our daily challenge. As her husband and life partner, I have always viewed my role as safeguarding her from physical suffering and hardship, ensuring that she enjoys an environment where she feels secure of her future and there was no need to worry of what will happen to her. This model is no longer valid -it is obsolete. I have difficulty finding a new operational model.
Yes I do put my trust in God. I try to let go. But this is not my life. It is not I who is undergoing all this pain. It is not I who is fighting for survival. However, the irony could be that I die before her!
I am taking one day at a time."
May God bless you who reads this blog. Good night.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Day 41 Singapore Feb 25, 2007 - 9.21 hrs
Sunday - it is a beautiful day outside. Sunny and not too hot. Nicole has been up since 4.30 a.m. She went through her morning routine. She & I had breakfast together. This is the last weekend that Bert is spending with us before heading back to NY city. Time flies.
Nicole is slowly getting over the side effects of the second chemo treatment. Yesterday we had the quick visit of Christopher Easton & family who brought some organic apples. We still remember the time when Christopher first arrived in Singapore for studies. That was some 11 years ago. I told him then that there is a high probability that he will fall in love and marry a Singaporean girl. This proved to be right.
Anna and Alain came by to bring some Mauritian food for us, which we enjoyed tremendously. Pascal and Nathalie stopped by after mass. By that time Nicole was tired and she retired to bed.
These short visits can be a useful break for Nicole, though she tires very quickly. We hope that the visitors understand and do not be disturbed when Nicole retires while they are still here. The same applies to telephone calls. Joceline, Nicole's sister from Canada, has been calling daily. Nicole is happy to talk to her, But there are days when Nicole cannot talk or find the call too long. Jocelyn does understand when Nicole ends a conversation.
This morning Nicole was feeling better than yesterday. However, by the time I am writing here, she is already tired and is now taking some rest. We plan to attend mass at 10.15 hrs at St Ignatius.
Living with a person ill with cancer is a challenging journey. It is love in practice. St Paul says "Love is patient..." Well I am knowing what patience means. For me to cope with the mood swings of Nicole can test my patience. "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." St Paul 1 Corinthians 13 -vii. Now I now what St Paul is talking about. I am happy that I have Faith and have been brought up within the Catholic Faith and tradition. I thank my parents and extended family, the priests that I have had the blessing to know when I was growing up - Fathers Andre Avrillon, Desjardin, Michel D' Arifat, Roby Bathfield and recently starting to know Father Lawrence Freeman.
Have a nice day.
Nicole is slowly getting over the side effects of the second chemo treatment. Yesterday we had the quick visit of Christopher Easton & family who brought some organic apples. We still remember the time when Christopher first arrived in Singapore for studies. That was some 11 years ago. I told him then that there is a high probability that he will fall in love and marry a Singaporean girl. This proved to be right.
Anna and Alain came by to bring some Mauritian food for us, which we enjoyed tremendously. Pascal and Nathalie stopped by after mass. By that time Nicole was tired and she retired to bed.
These short visits can be a useful break for Nicole, though she tires very quickly. We hope that the visitors understand and do not be disturbed when Nicole retires while they are still here. The same applies to telephone calls. Joceline, Nicole's sister from Canada, has been calling daily. Nicole is happy to talk to her, But there are days when Nicole cannot talk or find the call too long. Jocelyn does understand when Nicole ends a conversation.
This morning Nicole was feeling better than yesterday. However, by the time I am writing here, she is already tired and is now taking some rest. We plan to attend mass at 10.15 hrs at St Ignatius.
Living with a person ill with cancer is a challenging journey. It is love in practice. St Paul says "Love is patient..." Well I am knowing what patience means. For me to cope with the mood swings of Nicole can test my patience. "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." St Paul 1 Corinthians 13 -vii. Now I now what St Paul is talking about. I am happy that I have Faith and have been brought up within the Catholic Faith and tradition. I thank my parents and extended family, the priests that I have had the blessing to know when I was growing up - Fathers Andre Avrillon, Desjardin, Michel D' Arifat, Roby Bathfield and recently starting to know Father Lawrence Freeman.
Have a nice day.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Day 40 Singapore Feb 24, 2007 - 9.15 hrs
Second day after chemo Cycle 2 (ii). Nicole appears to be feeling better than yesterday. This morning we went to the 7.00am mass at Novena. Nicole has a morning routine - Prayer, bouncing on the trampoline while drinking a detox drink and drink fiber. Meanwhile she would also drink 3-4 glasses of juice/water.
Her oncologist, Dr Wong, is amazed that Nicole who is undergoing chemo can still jump on the trampoline daily. This morning while Nicole was on the trampoline, I was slumbering on a sofa in the same room. She had more energy than I.
We are taking it easy this morning with Nicole resting.
We received three very supportive and warm emails - from Joyce Liu, Loulou Leong Son and Jean Wan, my high school friend.Both Nicole and I are grateful to read such emails and are touched by these expressions of love and caring. In these days of the Internet, we find that the Internet allows closeness and bonding among persons and reduces the world into a small village. Our life would have been very different without the Internet. We would not have been able to share with you our day to day life journey.
Nicole keeps reminding me to ask you to pray.Please pray for us and particularly for Nicole's complete healing. Miracle does happen!
Her oncologist, Dr Wong, is amazed that Nicole who is undergoing chemo can still jump on the trampoline daily. This morning while Nicole was on the trampoline, I was slumbering on a sofa in the same room. She had more energy than I.
We are taking it easy this morning with Nicole resting.
We received three very supportive and warm emails - from Joyce Liu, Loulou Leong Son and Jean Wan, my high school friend.Both Nicole and I are grateful to read such emails and are touched by these expressions of love and caring. In these days of the Internet, we find that the Internet allows closeness and bonding among persons and reduces the world into a small village. Our life would have been very different without the Internet. We would not have been able to share with you our day to day life journey.
Nicole keeps reminding me to ask you to pray.Please pray for us and particularly for Nicole's complete healing. Miracle does happen!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Singapore Feb 23, 2007 - 10.42 hrs
Suzanne
Thank you for your comments. Please do continue to post your comments. You are very kind to remind us that Nicole is a great person. She is a valuable life partner to me. I do not regret my choice! But more importantly I thank Nicole for having chosen me as her life partner. As you mentioned she is a very beautiful person and very attractive also.
Christopher,
Thank you for your suggestions and offer of assistance.
Yes we are using a low speed juicer that removes all the fiber. We are going to call on you for assistance. You can count on it.
I am very encouraged to see the younger generation being so generous of their time. You are living witness of the goodness of man and of God living in you.
" Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you...For I was ... ill, and you cared for me,..." Mathew 31, 34-39.
Thank you for your comments. Please do continue to post your comments. You are very kind to remind us that Nicole is a great person. She is a valuable life partner to me. I do not regret my choice! But more importantly I thank Nicole for having chosen me as her life partner. As you mentioned she is a very beautiful person and very attractive also.
Christopher,
Thank you for your suggestions and offer of assistance.
Yes we are using a low speed juicer that removes all the fiber. We are going to call on you for assistance. You can count on it.
I am very encouraged to see the younger generation being so generous of their time. You are living witness of the goodness of man and of God living in you.
" Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you...For I was ... ill, and you cared for me,..." Mathew 31, 34-39.
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