It's 17.20 in Singapore...Bob left this morning and i was still very much paralysed by fears..fear of the needle, fear of pain, fear of the chemo, fear of its side effects, ..i could not function...
Maurice andI we spent some time together.I was sharing with him all my feelings of fear..it was like a panic ..Patricia , my singaporean friend who passed away with cancer 2 years ago used to talk to me of her fear panics and i could not understand what she really meant until i experienced it these last few days.
After my gentle massage at the club, i told Maurice that i wanted to give him time for himself..but in fact i wanted time to be by myself to pray...and i prayed so hard for God to help me through all this.
And i found a small prayer leaflet called "Le coeur D'accueil de Jesus Don du Pere Tout-Puissant"..I'm not too sure who gave it to me..whether it was Patricia or Florise(M's sisters)..it was a amessage given by Virgin Mary to Micheline Boisvert, in 1998.
I never had a real devotion to Mary in the past...but somehow today i was guided to start saying that prayer..and I was amazed by the feelings of peace and hope that i experienced...
I got up feeling peaceful and went to clean my kitchen.
I guess it's the beginning of my spiritual growth..
Wanted to share this with u all.Love,Nicole
2 comments:
My dear Nick,
Thank you very much for writing and sharing.
I have been reciting the Souvenez vous O tres misericordieuse Vierge Marie everyday for you.
We are leaving to 5 pm mass with Ivy in a few minutes.
You are very much in our thoughts.
Love and prayers
Hugues
My dear Nic,
Thank you very much for sharing the precious gift of yourself with us. I feel very privileged to be allowed into the intimacy of your heart where all your fears, despair, hope and peace are being experienced. I feel very helpless to hear about your sufferings and my helplessness is a suffering for me. My mantra, "Maranatha" is helping me to just "BE" and I'm trying and learning slowly to let go and as you said when I was in NewYork with you "to let God take charge". I'm filled with awe when I hear you and Maurice witnessing your faith and I can't but give and sing Praise to the Lord. The journey is very rough Nic, together let us say as the disciples at Emmaus "Stay with us Lord, it is nearly evening and the day is almost over." Actually, I like the French translation better: Reste avec nous Seigneur, il se fait tard.
I love you very much Nic,
Marga
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